The Secret to Making Changes in Your Life

Bill O’Hanlon, a well-known family therapist, says in his book, “Do One Thing Different” to focus on the solution rather than the problem.

I couldn’t agree more.  When all of your attention is given to the problem at hand, you end up with very little energy to apply to a solution.

Long before I read The Secret,  I learned from Bill O’Hanlon that changing my thoughts and what I  paid attention to is a way for me to bring about a desired change.

In my practice, I come across people everyday who say they want change but are unwilling to challenge faulty beliefs about themselves, the situation or do something different.

It’s much more helpful to look at the things that are going well and exceptions rather than dwelling on the problem.  For instance,  what happens when you tell yourself you are limited in what you can achieve or you don’t have enough?

Do you find yourself saying the same phrases over and over?  Phrases like, “I just don’t have enough energy to go to the gym,  “I have to be the responsible one” or when will I have time for me”.   Sound familiar?

Thinking the same thing over and over only gets you the same results. Lack and scarcity thinking attracts more lack and scarcity.

Here are some things you can practice doing that will start you thinking differently and getting different results:

  1. Create new feelings. When you find yourself feeling stuck, stressed and thinking the same empty phrases, try turning that thought into a solution.  For example, “instead of bemoaning a lack of time, try saying “I have enough time to nurture myself” or “I go to the gym everyday at 6:30”.  New actions create new feelings.
  2. Change a pattern. Whatever you’re doing something and you have a limiting thought – STOP – Take 5 minutes to relax. Surely, five minutes away from a chore is not going to cause World War III.
  3. Be grateful – Show gratitude for the things that are going well in your life.   Start by writing down at least one thing you are grateful for each day  and work your way up to listing five things you are grateful for and you will find your attitude different and less time spent dwelling on what’s not working for you.

I would love to hear your thoughts….just leave a comment below to join the conversation.

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author




About the Author:

Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist.  Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries,  build balance and create breathing space in their busy lives.

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