Archive for worry
Bad News is a Bummer
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Bad news is a bummer. It matters little if the news is life changing or a disappointing outcome; it can easily be a shock or a setback.
Last week, my day started out as usual until I got a phone call from a relative with some pretty disturbing news that changed my whole outlook.
When things like that happen, do you resort to hand wringing, crying, questioning “why”, what if”, and “if only”?
I must admit, for a short while I was stuck in worry mode. After taking some really deep breaths to get centered, I focused on what I could realistically do about the situation.
This is what I came up with to bounce back from worry:
Be Realistic – Is there anything you can do to realistically change the situation? If you can change the outcome, then by all means do so. If there is nothing you can do, accept that and turn your attention towards what you can accomplish.
Offer Support – If you hear new that someone is gravely ill, offer support, encouragement or do what you can to ease their pain. That may be all you can do at the moment.
Share Your Concerns – The more you ruminate over a situation, the more space it takes up in your consciousness. Pause the worry button by voicing your concerns to a trusted friend or family member. Getting your thoughts out of your head and sharing your concerns may give you additional insight.
Refocus – When you receive bad news, refocus your attention. For example, take a walk; listen to soothing music, exercise or anything you can do to take a reprieve from the distressing situation.
When unexpected setbacks occur, you can easily become overwhelmed, frustrated and worried. But when you take a few minutes to realistically access what you can or can’t do and place your attention away from the concern, you’re better able to handle setbacks.
- Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care. To get tips, start living out loud with more enthusiasm, energy, passion, and self-confidence now, get your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Stop the Energy Drainers that are Painting You into a Corner
Posted by: | CommentsWhen your energy level feels like you have been in a maze with no visible means of escape and you find yourself making needless mistakes, forgetting to put the trash out, where you put keys, or missing an important appointment, it’s time to stop the energy drainers in their tracks.
Feeling constantly exhausted, confused, distracted and just plain out of sorts is a formula for burnout and leads to worry, fear and despair. Yet, every day, many women experience this feeling with no relief in sight.
According to a study done by the American College of Physicians, in the United States, 24% of the general adult population has had fatigue lasting 2 weeks or longer; 59%-64% of these persons report that their fatigue has no medical cause.
I suspect these numbers would be a lot higher if this study focused on the percentage of adult women who experience unrecognized chronic fatigue.
Let’s take a look at some of the known energy drainers and what you can do about them:
- Rushing – When you move at lightening speed trying to do and give more and more of your energy, you are prone to make mistakes. Rushing simply wastes bucket loads of energy unnecessarily. When you rush, you forget things, skip meals, and are more likely to be distracted and ultimately even more rushed. Slow down, take a few deep breaths and reassess the situation. It will be there when you return more focused and able to move at a slower pace.
- Lack of a system – You don’t have to store every detail, appointment, or to-do-list item in your memory bank. A simple time management system will help you to stay on track and nudge you to recall the things you need to do. You can easily become frustrated trying to recall the items you need from the grocery store, the kids schedules and your commitments. Without an easy to use system, you’re chipping away at the mental energy you could use elsewhere to create a greater impact on your life. Use an electronic calendar on your cell phone, other device or a paper scheduler to stay on top of things.
- Meeting everyone’s needs before your own. It takes a lot of energy to take care of your loved ones and while taking care of loved ones provides a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, it also requires valuable energy. In worse cases, it can even breed resentment – another huge source of energy drain. Carve out some “me time” and learn that taking care of YOU is your highest priority if you want to continue giving lovingly to others.
- Painting yourself into a corner. Making promises you are unable to keep, taking on that extra assignment at work and holding down a part time job may feel like you have no way out and are painting yourself into a corner. You do have a choice. Make only promises and commitments you are able to keep and always have an exit strategy if needed.
- People Pleasing – Always ready to lend a hand? Great! But, when your overzealousness to please overrides your overall sense of value, worth, goodness and deservedness, then it crosses over into people pleasing. There’s nothing wrong with helping other people, but it’s another thing when your helping is done out of a sense of obligation, guilt or “have to”. Learn to say no to the things that cause you stress or discomfort. You will be relieved from the weight of over-scheduling, guilt, and irritation. Use your power of choice to free up your time and energy to do things that are joyful, fun and add meaning to your life.
And, in the meantime, if you are serious about setting strong boundaries, clearing more time in your busy schedule for self-care and want to live a harmonious life then I invite you get my FREE Special Report, Building Strong Boundaries to Give You More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
You can also connect with me on these social media sites as well:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/GladysAnderson
Face Book: http://www.facebook.com/Coachforyourdreams
FriendFeed: http://friendfeed.com/gladysanderson
Until next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care
How to Maintain Self-Care and Keep an Emotional Healthy Outlook
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From time to time, most of us get over-shadowed by a less than healthy emotional outlook. Yet, that does not mean we have to dwell in it or accept it as our reality. When your emotional outlook is cloudy, it’s important to allow the sun to shine through by taking some well-deserved time for self-care.
Many women today lead lives punctuated with to-do-lists, decision-making, family obligations, social and community activities, chauffeuring, appointments and a host of other to-do’s.
Yet, while all this “busy-ness” may give you a sense of accomplishment, purpose, validation and acceptance, it comes with a high price. The price you pay is in lack of consistent self-care and that takes a serious toll on your emotional and physical health.
Oprah once said, “I don’t have a weight problem – I have a self-care problem that manifests through weight”.
Because Oprah is another very busy woman who neglected to take time for herself, she fell prey to heart palpitations, a thyroid condition and weight gain and emotional drain.
Here are some clear indications that you may have an unhealthy emotional outlook and what you can do about it:
Worrying over things outside of your control – When you worry you are trying to prevent those nasty little surprises that catch you off guard. Or another way of putting it is, you’re trying to control the outcome of something or someone else. Whenever those irritating thoughts pop up, write yourself a “worry list”. From your list, pick one worry and devote 10-15 minutes to it. Once the time is up, immediately engage in another activity that will keep your mind occupied. Doing this puts you in control and minimizes the amount of time you spend worrying.
Putting your needs on the back burner – Giving up your precious time and energy to worry, predicting, and project leaves you little time to exercise, relax and refresh both your physical and mental health. This often leads to physical ailments, burnout, irritability and an inability to take care of you and the people you care about. Make sure you schedule some time to rejuvenate and relax so that you have the energy to take care good care of YOU while taking care of the other people in your life
Build Resiliency – Resiliency is the ability to bounce back from adverse circumstances. For example, this is what Michael J. Fox said about having Parkinson’s disease, “If I let it affect me, it’s gonna own everything. I don’t deny it or pretend it’s not there, but I don’t allow it to be bigger than it is. I can’t always control my body and I can’t control whether or not I feel good…but I can control how clear my mind is and I can control how willing I am to step up if somebody needs me.” Having in place the emotional stamina to withstand life’s setbacks, not only builds resiliency, but keeps you out of the role of victim, and also helps you to control the things within your power to control”.
Whatever thoughts or beliefs you hold, your mind will believe it because your brain only responds to your subconscious voice.
So when the clouds of “busy-ness” threaten to color your life, remember that the answer is self-care!
And, in the meantime, if you are serious about setting strong boundaries, clearing more time in your busy schedule for self-care and want to live a harmonious life then I invite you get my FREE Special Report, Building Strong Boundaries to Give You More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Until next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.