Archive for Stress
7 Stress Busting Tips for the Holidays
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Holidays are filled with joyous times spend with family and loved ones but can often be stressful as well. Some studies indicate that stress, depression and suicide are highest during the holiday season. To reduce stress, overwhelm and possible depression, consider some of these stress busting tips for the holidays, practice some good self care and enjoy!
- Start your list early. Even if you change your mind, you have a guideline in place for gift giving and shopping. I usually start my list early in the year as I listen to what my family and friends say are
on their wish list. Of course, the list might change by December but I’ve already gotten a head start and can avoid the last minute buying frenzy.
- Budget wisely. Assign a reasonable dollar amount for each gift on you list. This may change but you will start your shopping with a ballpark figure in mind and likely won’t exceed your budget.
- Shop only from your list. Don’t allow the brightly colored decorations, advertisements and shiny objects sway your intentions.
- Take time out for self-care. While shopping or doing other errands, stop to enjoy your favorite beverage, snack or just “people watch” for 10-15 minutes. And when done, you can resume your tasks feeling refreshed and ready to forge ahead.
- Keep entertaining menus simple. Every occasion doesn’t have to be a Martha Stewart event. Remember, entertaining is about creating precious memories and enjoying the company of your family and friends.
- Use creative gift wrapping. Unless you enjoy gift wrapping, use department store gift wrapping services or recycled gift bags and tissues to cut down on the time, expense and stress of selecting paper and ribbons.
- Prioritize. Each day, starting December 1, make a list of the important things to be done and prioritize it by importance. Don’t try to do everything on your list, move some to another day to avoid overwhelm.
When you do too much, are worn out and lack energy, you tend to look at the seasonal preparations as just another chore. With all the planning and activities on the horizon, it’s vitally important to take time for self-care so you can enjoy the season amongst all the frenzy.
Wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous Holiday season!

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, family therapist, and Group coaching specialist, Gladys M, Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care. To get tips, start living out loud with more energy, passion and self confidence, start by getting your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Bad News is a Bummer
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Bad news is a bummer. It matters little if the news is life changing or a disappointing outcome; it can easily be a shock or a setback.
Last week, my day started out as usual until I got a phone call from a relative with some pretty disturbing news that changed my whole outlook.
When things like that happen, do you resort to hand wringing, crying, questioning “why”, what if”, and “if only”?
I must admit, for a short while I was stuck in worry mode. After taking some really deep breaths to get centered, I focused on what I could realistically do about the situation.
This is what I came up with to bounce back from worry:
Be Realistic – Is there anything you can do to realistically change the situation? If you can change the outcome, then by all means do so. If there is nothing you can do, accept that and turn your attention towards what you can accomplish.
Offer Support – If you hear new that someone is gravely ill, offer support, encouragement or do what you can to ease their pain. That may be all you can do at the moment.
Share Your Concerns – The more you ruminate over a situation, the more space it takes up in your consciousness. Pause the worry button by voicing your concerns to a trusted friend or family member. Getting your thoughts out of your head and sharing your concerns may give you additional insight.
Refocus – When you receive bad news, refocus your attention. For example, take a walk; listen to soothing music, exercise or anything you can do to take a reprieve from the distressing situation.
When unexpected setbacks occur, you can easily become overwhelmed, frustrated and worried. But when you take a few minutes to realistically access what you can or can’t do and place your attention away from the concern, you’re better able to handle setbacks.

- Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care. To get tips, start living out loud with more enthusiasm, energy, passion, and self-confidence now, get your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Your life is a Sum Total of Your Responses to the Choices You Have Made
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Years ago, when I first heard the quote “our lives are the sum total of the choices we have made”, by Dr. Wayne Dyer, I quickly discounted it just as a lot of people do. Because I was so wrapped up in my “stories” about what should have happened that I didn’t see how I could possibly have been remotely responsible for how the choices I made were reflected in my life.
As I gave the quote more thought, I came to realize it had more meaning for me when I interpreted it this way – Your life is a sum total of your responses to the choices you have made. Maybe I’m taking too much liberty with Dr. Dyer’s quote but that’s a choice I get to make.
If you look at the quote as how the choices you made are connected to distressing thoughts, you take responsibility for your choices and are empowered to release the burden of unrealistic expectations you’ve placed on yourself and others.
We make choices every day, every minute and sometimes our choices don’t bring the desired results. It’s not the results that cause angst, it’s your response to it that causes stress. I made a choice to purchase one car over another and realized later that I hadn’t made the best choice for myself. Did I ruminate over it, stress over or spend time trying to figure out how I could reverse my choice. You bet I did! But, only for a short time. It was around the time I made my choice that I come across Dr. Dyer’s quote again. After that I put on my “other” thinking cap and decided I wouldn’t stress over it or question the reality of the choice I made.
Who knows, just maybe the universe designed that I would have this car and not another.
In Byron Katie’s book, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, she cautions us to question stressful thoughts and not attach to them.
Had I attached to the thought that I made a bad decision, I would still be stressed, unable to appreciate the fact that I do have a reliable, safe car to drive and could have easily become attached to a stressful thought about a choice I made.
What about you? If you believe your life is a sum total of your responses to the choices you have made, how do you avoid attaching to stressful thoughts about the choices you’ve made? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Until next time…

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
Pretty is as Pretty Does
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I often use to hear my grandmother say, “pretty is as pretty does” whenever someone complimented one of her grandchildren on their looks.
It was one of those sayings that I heard often, but never really giving much thought to what it meant until recently.
Recently, as I waited in a line [practicing patience], I overheard a well dressed, attractive young woman say to someone in a rather nasty tone, “what the *%&*^ are you looking at?” And, immediately I was transported back to my childhood hearing my grandmother’s voice, “pretty is as pretty does“.
No matter how well dressed, articulate or well connected you are if you are not pretty on the inside, you present your ugly side to the world – just like the woman I overheard sprouting ugliness. It’s not what’s on the outside that counts but more about what’s on the inside. That’s what my grandmother meant by pretty is as pretty does.
We all have days that can feel overwhelming, overscheduled and stressed. But, it helps if you have some things in your mental toolbox to keep you uplifted, focused and positive.
Here are some things you can keep in your toolbox so you can show up pretty inside and out.
A hammer – use your hammer to drive away negative thoughts, feelings and irritability. When you are stressed you are prone to irritability and insensitive comments. Learn ways to reduce stress so that you aren’t constantly in a foul mood.
Nails – Each nail in your toolbox represents one of your personal boundaries. Develop strong personal boundaries to stay in touch with your own emotions, preserve your energy and protect your precious time.
A Flashlight – Your smile is your bright light. Let it guide you wherever you go. Each day when you are getting dressed to go out into the world, commit to smiling at everyone you meet to immediately brighten your day. No matter what you’re going through, it doesn’t help to dwell in negativity. Put on your smiley face.
Gloves – Wear gloves to gently massage your bruised feelings and protect you from negativity. Memorize a positive affirmation to uplift you and keep you motivated. [Example] I radiate confidence, grace, and happiness wherever I go.
What tools do you use that help you stay “positive and pretty? It would be great if you would share them here in the comment section…
About the Author:

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist. Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries, build balance and create breathing space in their busy lives.
What Happens to Your Body When You’re Stressed – Part 1
Posted by: | CommentsHave you heard the phrase, “stress is a killer”. Surely, that phrase should be a wake up call to get a handle on stress. But, unfortunately, most of us wear stress like a
comfortable pair of old shoes.
According to the American Academy of Family Physicians, two-thirds of office visits to family doctors are for stress-related symptoms such as fatigue, body aches, obesity and heart palpitations.
These are stressful times for all of us and coupled with our day-to-day stressors, we can easily become affected by stressful symptoms.
When you have a gazillion things on your to-do-list, you’re overwhelmed by the demands on your time, and can’t take a minute just for yourself, your body will respond to these stressors as though you are in danger. Your heart rate increases, your breathing becomes faster, and you get a sudden burst of energy. This is known as the fight-or-flight response. This response is fine if you are in actually in danger. But, just imagine feeling this way several times a day for days on end.
Consider traffic jams, deadlines, eating on the run, bills to pay, job changes, family and community obligations, endless chores and errands, and demands and more demands on your time, and energy. That’s the reality for most of us, most days.
How would you feel if you could take care of everything you have to do and still carve out some time for self-care?
You don’t have to let stress rule your life.
In the next post, I’ll share with you the four areas of your life where stress takes a serious toll.

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
The Effects of Stress and How it Shows Up in Your Life – Part 2
Posted by: | CommentsI know you hear a lot about stress but unless you get a grip on stress, stress will get a grip on you and won’t let go.
The second article in this series is meant to give you concrete examples of how stress shows up in your life.
I’m sure you have either experienced or know someone who seems prone to accidents, often gets burned while cooking, is always tired or gets frequent colds during the winter. It’s not that you or anyone else is unlucky, unhealthy, clumsy or unfocused. These are all early warning signs leading to stress overload.
Let’s take a look at the effects stress has on your body.
Physical Stress – Do you often complain of a headache or wake up tired? Here are some signs of physical stress:
- Frequent headaches
- Insomnia
- Stomach, neck and shoulder pains
- Frequent colds
- Excessive tiredness
Watch for frequent colds, pain or excessive tiredness, all which can indicate that your stress level is rising.
Mental Stress – Symptoms of mental stressors may show up as;
- Confusion
- Poor concentration
- Boredom and a negative attitude.
Forgetting to turn off a light is a lot different from not remembering something as important as a doctor’s appointment you have had for months. Not being able to concentrate on something that you have no interest in is not the same as frequently losing your train of thought while reading your favorite magazine.
Emotional Stress – Lately, have you noticed that you snap at your children, partner, and co-workers more so than usual. Do you find yourself making remarks that you can’t believe poured from your mouth? Watch for these signs of emotional stress:
- Irritablility
- Overly sensitive
- Impatience
- Angry
- Frustration and Excessive Worry
Stress is most likely the culprit and is effecting your emotional state. Ask yourself, “what’s going on in my life that is influencing how I feel? Is it my work, home life, children, family members?”
Emotional stress effects not only your well being but also the people around you who depend on you.
Social Stress – You’re declining more and more invitations to engage with family and friends. You would rather just stay home and watch TV. You just don’t want to be bothered and would rather be just left alone.
- Isolation
- Avoidance
- Lowered sex drive
- Nagging
Read the final article to learn how you can keep stress at bay.

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
How You Can Get a New Lease on Your Stressful Life – Part 3
Posted by: | CommentsStress leads to strokes, high blood pressure, obesity, and a host of other serious illnesses. Did I get your attention? Stress is not to be taken lightly. But the good news is, you can do something about it.
Now that you are aware of the toll stress takes on your body and how to recognize stressful symptoms, here are some ways to help you get a better handle on stress:.
- Try new ways of thinking – Change the way you think and the things you think about will change.
- Work on releasing anger, frustration and worry. Worrying about tomorrow or yesterday wastes precious energy that could best be used to tackle the things you can change
- Learn to say “no”. A sure way to add stress to your life is to fear saying no. Saying no sets and maintains health boundaries. Learn to say no and mean it.
- Manage your time wisely. Keeping to a schedule will allow you to get more done with less stress. Only commit to the things you are confident you can accomplish within your time frame. Set consistent boundaries around your time. Do the things that are most important to you first and schedule others for later
- Take good care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, exercise and eat well. A healthy body makes a healthy mind! Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It helps to have a strong system of support but if you don’t, there are professionals who are available to assist you in managing stress.
- Set and maintain healthy boundaries – Establishing firm, consistent limits on your time, energy and resources lowers your stress level. Don’t take on more than you can reasonably accomplish.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It helps to have a strong system of support but if you don’t, there are professionals who are available to assist you in managing your stress level.

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
10 Quick and Easy Tips to Reduce Daily Stress
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In today’s media frenzy, you are constantly bombarded with news of tragedy, war, economic upheaval, and more and doom and gloom headlines. All this just makes you want to scream.
You focus on the problems and not your reactions to them. That is where you open the door and let stress in.
Here are ten quick and easy things you can do immediately to help keep your stress level under control:
1) Establish consistent routines – Put your keys away in the same place every day. Establishing a predictable, consistent routine allows more time to focus on other important things. Having things in a specific location cuts down on time spent looking for them and in turn reduces frustration.
2) Avoid Rushing – Keep a small amount of cash handy to avoid rushing to the ATM. When you rush around trying to fit in just one more thing, your stress level increases.
3) Be Prepared - Always keep a minimum of a half tank of gas. That way, you won’t have to concern yourself with a low gauge when your thoughts should be on where you are going.
4) Tidy up at night – Spend ten minutes at night tidying up so that your day will not start off cluttered and disorganized.
5) Organize your work clothes, lunches, and any work materials you will need for the week on Sunday evening. You will have more free time in the morning and cut down on stress. If something needs ironing, you can either iron it Sunday evening or select something else. You save time and frustration the next morning when all is taken care of and you’re not rushing.
6) Slow Down – Whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress, practice speaking more slowly than usual. You’ll find that you think more clearly and react more reasonably to stressful situations. Stressed people tend to speak fast and breathlessly. By slowing down your speech you’ll also appear less anxious and more in control of any situation.
7) Complete One Simple To-Do – Jump start an effective time management strategy. Choose one simple thing you have been putting off (e.g. returning a phone call, making a doctor’s appointment) and do it immediately. Just taking care of one nagging responsibility can be energizing and can improve your attitude.
8) Manage Your Time – Use a time management system to keep you on track. It can be electronic or paper. The important thing is that you adhere to a schedule.
9) Get Some Fresh Air – Get outdoors for a brief break. Our grandparents were right about the healing power of fresh air. Don’t be deterred by foul weather or a full schedule. Even five minutes on a balcony or terrace can be rejuvenating.
10) Recharge at the Day’s End – Plan something rewarding for the end of your stressful day, even if only a relaxing bath or half an hour with a good book. Put aside work, housekeeping or family concerns for a brief period before bedtime and allow yourself to fully unwind. Remember when you take the time to replenish and energize yourself, you’ll be much better prepared to face another day.
Use these simple tips to reduce your stress level and you will immediately see amazing results!

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
Relax, Rejuvenate and Rest
Posted by: | CommentsTalk about an “aha” moment…I have had several the past couple of weeks as I lay coughing, sneezing and feeling like walked on dirt from some all-encompassing “bug”.
There’s nothing quite as enlightening as not being able to do anything but lie still and take time for reflection.
How often have I said, “take time for yourself”, “take care of yourself first”, etc. (you’ve heard it from me many times). Yet, there I was completely depleted mainly because I neglected to take care of the most important person – me.
We often ignore all the warning signs – exhaustion, disturbed sleep patterns, lack of energy – while feeling like we’re on a fast moving treadmill at top speed. Don’t ignore these warning signs. This is exactly the time to detach from the stress, stop, breathe deeply, and take the time for self-care. Your body is trying to tell you to rest, rejuvenate and restore your energy.

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
It’s True: You Can Get Rid of the Clutter Monster
Posted by: | CommentsDo you know that a quarter of homeowners with two-car garages use them exclusively for storage and park in the driveway?
How do we become such hostages to the jumble of odds and ends that once gave us pleasure and fond memories and now have outlived its usefulness?
This week, I finally took on the gigantic task of clearing the clutter from my basement storage area and the garage! Whew!
How many times had I said, “we really need to clear out some stuff of this stuff.” It was merely a passing comment…didn’t happen! So to solve the problem, I tried my best to ignore the growing mound of useless odds and ends that had taken over my space.
I finally could tolerate it no longer. So amongst the empty soda cans, the unused boxes of [ugly] tile, the stacks of old magazines, Christmas decorations that had outlived at least 9 lives, the leftover remnants of broken tables, unwanted gifts, non-working electronics, I set out to simplify my life starting from the outside in. I can now get in and out of my car without banging my car door into some abandoned object stored along the sides.
I realized a long time ago, I do not work well or feel productive when there is a lot of disorder. Yet, here I was, again being slowly nibbled away by the clutter monster.
Look around you; are you being steadily gobbled up by the clutter monster?
Did you know that clutter in your surroundings directly affects how you think, work, and live?
Let’s categorize what clutter may look like:
- Things you do not use or love
- Things that are untidy or disorganized
- Too many things in too small a place
- Anything unfinished or not being used
Most professional organizers focus on orderliness and systems to maintain tidy surroundings. But, I want you to also consider how orderliness and clutter can also symbolize your state of mind.
What old beliefs about letting go are you clinging to?
When you imagine decluttering, what emotions do you feel?
Are you feeling a sense of loss, or anxiety, confusion?
How do you make room for new thoughts, ideas and actions?
How do you feel when clutter gets the best of you? Is it difficult for you to make changes? Does the thought of changing make you uncomfortable?
We all may have some clutter sometimes but the best way to begin is with your thoughts about it. Change your thoughts, change your life!
Yes, I know, I’m guilty of not always practicing what I preach! I sometimes let the clutter monster come for a visit. And, it’s usually when my mind is filled with disorder. When I can think clearly and organize my thoughts, there seems to be less clutter around me. And when clutter is consuming my space, I’m less organized and focused.
When you find you’re surrounded by disorganization, holding on to things long past their prime, and ignoring the clutter, give some thought to your state of mind. Are you anxious, uncomfortable, confused, and unmotivated? If you experience any of these feelings, I’m sure you will see it reflected in your surroundings. Gobble up the clutter monster!

Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.




