Archive for setting limits
Put Multitasking on Hold
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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can put multitasking on hold mostly when I’m on a call and another is waiting or I glance at my computer screen and see I am working in several windows simultaneously.
Multitasking can easily become a big part of our lives especially now with the busy holiday season fast approaching. And, all of this multitasking starts to make me feel like I’m on an out of control roller coaster wishing someone would put on the brakes. Like most women, I find myself occasionally deep in the throes of multitasking and busyness. But, when I can slow down long enough to allow myself some breathing space, I realize that in addition to all the appointments, household chores, social commitments, and other demands on my time, I do have a choice.
Put multitasking on hold and avoid overwhelm by using these suggestions:
•Make a commitment to carve out self-care daily. Start small with something you enjoy and build on that. Take 5 or 10 minutes to quietly enjoy a soothing cup of tea. Tea is a natural relaxant and while sipping tea, you can begin to refocus. Maybe coffee, or another soothing drink may be for you. It doesn’t matter if you have something to drink or not. The important thing is to commit to carving out self-time on a daily basis.
•Let go of the guilt. Reduce the overwhelm. Hold others accountable for the things they are responsible for. Don’t stress over what others are doing or not doing. You have no control over others and their actions. Keep in mind that you can only be responsible for the things that you are responsible for.
•Prioritize – For the most part, women tend to prioritize according to the needs of others – not yourselves. To put your needs first is not a selfish act but rather a selfless one. For the same reason we are told to don our masks if there is an emergency on a flight, is the same reason you must nurture and take good care of yourself so that you are ready to take care of others in your lives with energy and willingness.
•Allow friends to support and encourage you. Most of you can easily and willingly grumble to friends about how busy you are and how little time you have for yourself. This is not support. You want to surround yourself with people who will offer suggestions, give of themselves if need be, encourage and uplift you.
Set clear boundaries around how many commitments you agree to, how you want to spend your time and energy and with whom you spend your time. Having strong boundaries means that you make responsible choices based on your ability to give, do and be – not choices made out of guilt or a desire to avoid conflict or please someone else.
•Make an appointment with YOU. When you are keeping track of all the other appointments and to do lists on your schedule, put in your planner or calendar an appointment for YOU. Use the time to refresh and re-energize so that you will have a power source from which to give to others.
And, to get other self-care tips, tools and resources to stay focused and motivated to attract more joy, more time and more energy in your life, start by getting your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
Take a Power Hour to Stop Overwhelm
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According to the National Association of Professional Organizers, 60% of Americans feel they do not have enough time to get everything done.
This past week I certainly was part of that 60%! As I unsuccessfully attempted to check off everything I had on my to-do list, I felt like I was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole!
Maybe you’re also overwhelmed with the sheer volume of items on your to-do list! Or, perhaps, you underestimated the time needed, or fell prey to interruptions because you didn’t set strong time boundaries.
With a mountain of paperwork facing you, phone calls to make, tasks/chores to be done and all the other things you want to check off your to-do-list, you’re more than likely to procrastinate and shuffle mindlessly from one thing to another. And, at the end of the day, feel you have wasted time and accomplished little, if anything.
Well, I recommend you take a power hour to stop overwhelm so that you can take a step back, re-energize and reassess what’s really important now.
Here’s how you can quickly get from overwhelmed, foggy, and frustrated to seeing some astonishing results while renewing your energy source, gaining clarity and a sense of achievement.
- Set a timer for an hour to work on just one task. Setting a time to complete just one thing helps to manage your time and quickly gives you a sense of accomplishment. When the hour is up, take a 10-minute break – get something to drink or go for a short walk. When you return, you will feel mentally and physically alert and ready to take on the next power hour.
- Use part of your 10-minute break to take several some deep breaths. Breathing deeply gives you clarity, focus and renewed energy.
- If it fits into your day, take a power nap. A power nap is good way to refresh quickly. Researchers at NASA showed that a 30-minute power nap increased alertness by approximately 40 percent! I find taking just a 10-15 minute nap refreshing.
- Realign your expectations with the reality of what is possible to accomplish within a given time frame. Rome wasn’t built in a day and you won’t accomplish everything on your schedule today. Prioritize your to-do-list based on what’s most important.
- If your workspace is cluttered, spend the first power hour clearing away all unnecessary papers, pens, etc. before you begin working on your first task. Note: This is not the time to rearrange files, clean out a drawer, sort books, etc. Instead, your main goal is to clear a space where your energy and creativity can flow freely.
- Turn off the ringer on your phone and let any phone calls you receive to go to voice mail so that your “power hour” is not interrupted. You can always check for messages when you take your next break.
Use the tips above to easily use your power hour to stop overwhelm, procrastination, mental drain, and frustration.
If this article resonates with you, please post your thoughts, insights and suggestions in the comment section.
And, to get more tips, start living out loud with more joy, more energy and more time for self-care, get your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Give You More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
How To Lovingly Separate From Negative Influences
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I recently asked a client how he could lovingly separate from a situation filled with conframa [confusion and drama] that was sucking up every ounce of energy he had. He replied, …”I don’t know how I can lovingly separate … ”.
My client expressed exactly what a lot of people think about when they hear the word separate. It does not mean physically abandoning a friendship, marriage or other situations that zap your energy.
On occasion, we all encounter angry, obstinate, whining people who complain, gossip, criticize, zap our energy and leave us feeling drained.
Lovingly separating from negative people and influences is a way to release your emotional connection to the drama, confusion, pessimism, and other unacceptable behaviors. Distancing yourself from negative people is about demonstrating that you have clear emotional boundaries around what is acceptable to you and what’s not.
Al-Anon, a support group for families, friends and teens who are dealing with the effects of a loved ones drinking, teaches to set clear emotional boundaries and make rational decisions about what course of action needs to be taken. This is a great blueprint for setting strong boundaries and making choices.
If, like my client, you wonder how to lovingly separate from negative influences, then here are a few suggestions:
- Avoid arguing with a contrary, pessimistic people. They are looking for attention the only way they know how and it’s a way to get their emotional needs met. Arguing with them only feeds the fire of attention seeking behaviors. State clearly your position and move on.
- Curb the amount of time you spend with disruptive influences. Set strong time boundaries around who you spend time with and how much time you allow them to impact your life.
- Limit how much energy you allow to be zapped from your energy pool, leaving you drained with not enough strength to take care of YOU. Be prudent in how you manage your energy resources. Don’t try to change a negative person’s attitude or behavior.
- Realize that their behavior is brought about by a need to be accepted, loved and cared for. You can’t coax, manipulate or direct anyone else’s attitude or frame of mind. Try reframing their statements to take on a more positive spin or steer the conversation toward something more positive.
- Maintain strong boundaries around your time, space and energy. These are precious resources and they ought to be protected like any other prized possession.
Refuse to participate in someone else’s drama or negative attitude. Unless you’re an actor, drama has no place in your life.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
Look Within to Find Your Way Home
Posted by: | CommentsDo you recall the characters from the Wizard of Oz?
They all thought something was missing from their lives and they just had to find the missing piece …
- Dorothy dreamed of finding her way home to Kansas
- The Tin Man thought he would be happy if he only had a heart
- The Scarecrow believed he would be happy when he had a brain
- The Cowardly lion thought he would find happiness with some courage
Just as a lot of us do, they all were looking for answers outside of themselves. And is most often the case, all we need is already is within our reach.
The characters in the Wizard of Oz thought they didn’t have what they needed to be happy.
In case you need a gentle reminder from your friendly wizard about what it takes to get unstuck, joyful, courageous, and confident, here are a few things to think about:
- When you can’t find your true self and feel lost, clear your mind of limiting thoughts. Open yourself us to the answers that are deep within you. The more open you are to receiving the answers, the more of your authentic self will be uncovered. Sometimes you may need the help of a wise wizard to get you on your way.
- Fear is a limiting emotion when it keeps you stuck thinking the same negative thoughts about what you can or cannot do. Start with baby steps until you are comfortable taking larger steps that will get the results you want.
- Live your dream. You dream is uniquely yours. No one can take away your dream or live it. If you know deep inside there is something you want to do, you may need the support of a coach or trusted friend to help you sort out all the pieces.
- Think positive, affirming thoughts to ward off negativity and doubt about what you are capable of doing.
Remember, the only thing that kept Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow from getting what they wanted was their own thoughts. Change how you think and the solutions you desire will be evident.
What thoughts are holding you back from finding your way home?
Share your thoughts, observations, and comments…I would love to hear from you.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers balance the many demands on their time and energy, create boundaries that shift balance from overwhelm to energized, and live their lives with courage, confidence and clarity.
TIP: How to Build a Strong Emotional Boundary
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How does your outer world reflect your inner world?
Are you constantly misplacing your keys, spending time looking for things, never having enough time, surrounded by chaos and negativity?
When you outer world is disorganized, so is your inner world and it reflects a lack of focus and clarity.
TIP: Change the way you think about things. Replace negative, limiting, self-sabotaging thoughts with positive thoughts and affirmations. Immediately turn each negative or limiting thought into a positive statement before it has time to infiltrate your subconscious.
If you have enjoyed this tip, please submit your comments below and click the share button to share it with your friends.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist. Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries, build balance and create breathing space in their busy lives.
TIP: How to Create a Strong Financial Boundary
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A major stress for many people in these challenging economic times is money. How do you view money? Do you have an easy come easy go attitude, are you a thrifty spender or are you burdened with debt? Whatever your view of money is, the following tip may be helpful to get or keep your finances in order.
TIP: Spending more than one earns is a recipe for accumulating massive debt. Create a budget and stick to it. Track your spending for a month so that you know where your money is going. You may be surprised at how much you spend on coffee, snacks and non-essentials.
If you are in the habit of saving a portion of your income, congratulations and keep up the good work.
Eliminate credit cards – Create a short and long term plan to pay off outstanding credit cards. Not only will you be free from debt but you will also gain a new found sense of freedom.
About the Author:
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist. Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries, build balance and create breathing space in their busy lives.
TIP: How to Simplify and Systematize Your Space Boundary
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TIP: De-clutter your surroundings by getting rid of clogged files, clothes you no longer can wear, old costume jewelry, and other things that you no longer find useful, enjoyable or serve to enhance your life.
Create a system for everything; organize files and folders – You can create folders and rules in your e-mail so that you can easily find key contacts and their emails.
Donate clothes to a worthwhile charity.
Getting rid of clutter creates space to receive more of what you really want in your life.
About the Author:
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist. Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries, build balance and create breathing space in their busy lives.