How to Pamper Yourself on Mother’s Day and Everyday!

Most mothers, I'm sure, expect to be pampered, wined, dined and treated extra special on Mother's Day. I don't expect that this Mother's Day will be any different for a lot of us. But whether you are a mother or not, or have someone to indulge you, there's no reason why you can't take the time to pamper yourself on Mother's Day and everyday by indulging in a little self-care. Any day is a good day to treat yourself to some pampering. You deserve it! So, in preparation for your designated day of pampering, here are some ideas to get you on your way: Spend the day with nothing more on your agenda but YOU. Relax and do only the things you enjoy - no cleaning, cooking or other household chores! Schedule a manicure, facial, … [Read more...]

Your Boundary is Your Invisible Self-Monitoring Tool

There are a variety of tools available to keep you on track such as budgets, time management, journals and vision boards. And, like the other tools you avail yourself of to stay on track and reach your goals, you can also use your invisible self-monitoring tool to create strong boundaries that protect you from time stealers, energy drainers and negativity. I’m sure you wouldn’t allow guests in your home to trample on your furniture, paint on your walls or deface your property in some other way. Yet, many times, we unwittingly invite people to disrespect our boundaries by leaving a trail of negativity in their wake. For example: The “friend” who does not listen to you or value your opinions People who infringe on your time … [Read more...]

How to Deal With Disappointment – Learn From It

Just about the time I started the draft for my book, developing a new product and feeling pretty good about the way things were shaping up, out of the blue a zinger hit me! Things just didn't turn out the way I had planned. I was disappointed and my confidence level plummeted. I could have easily taken refuge under the covers, never to emerge again from my self-imposed exile into inertia. And, literally, I did retreat to the safety of my bed for a while.  I was unmotivated and ready to throw in the towel. One day as I sat at my desk mindlessly shuffling a stack of papers, I was lifted out of my fog by one of my favorite vocalists, Diana Krall, belting out "Pick Yourself Up and Start All Over Again" on the radio: Nothings impossible I … [Read more...]

Risk Taking Can Be the Spark That Gets You Moving

When you think of risk, what comes to mind? Do you have visions of Evil Knievel leaping across Snake River Canyon, someone engaged in hazardous, intense, and foolish actions or do you think of risk taking as an exhilarating, breathtaking and awe-inspiring experience? Of course, risk can be all those things and more. But it's really about having the courage to make a decision to experience life fully without fear and limitations.  It can also mean that sometimes you just have to take advantage of  that once in a lifetime opportunity without limiting yourself by fear. I took that once in a lifetime opportunity when I signed up for the sea trek excursion while on a recent cruise. If you're not familiar with a sea trek, it's an … [Read more...]

5 Easy Changes to Make Your Self-Care a Top Priority

photo credit: gbakuimage I'm sure you remember the familiar flight attendant reminding you to make sure your oxygen mask is on before attempting to help your seatmate. Well, the same holds true for you and your self-care. If you don't take good care of yourself, you won't have the energy, desire or time to help those you care about. I hear the same story over and over from women who bought into the excuse that they just "don't have enough time" to make self care a top priority. Often times, neglecting self-care leads to undue stress and other physical ailments such as high blood pressure, poor sleep patterns and a lack of energy. I recently spoke to a woman who was irritable, sleeping poorly, lacked energy and was borderline … [Read more...]

Bad News is a Bummer

Bad news is a bummer. It matters little if the news is life changing or a disappointing outcome; it can easily be a shock or a setback. Last week, my day started out as usual until I got a phone call from a relative with some pretty disturbing news that changed my whole outlook. When things like that happen, do you resort to hand wringing, crying, questioning "why", what if", and "if only”? I must admit, for a short while I was stuck in worry mode. After taking some really deep breaths to get centered, I focused on what I could realistically do about the situation. This is what I came up with to bounce back from worry: Be Realistic - Is there anything you can do to realistically change the situation? If you can change the … [Read more...]

When Good Enough is Enough

The concept of good enough comes from the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, John Bowlby's theory about "good enough parenting".  The premise is that children can and do thrive with parental substitutes (relatives, adoptive parents, etc) and that this mothering is good enough even when the child was deprived of a connection with his birth mother. As I thought about this theory, I couldn't help but wonder how we strive for perfection and don't accept when good enough is enough. Most of us have been programmed for perfection. We are taught early to avoid what is considered failure at all cost. In our schools, we learn a to strive for an 'A" or a perfect score and anything less is considered a failure. What about those students who get a … [Read more...]

Self-Care Can Sneak Its Way Into Your Daily Routine

 Self-care can sneak its way into your daily routine even when you’re so exhausted you hardly have enough energy to crawl out of bed. But, if you don’t make space daily for self-care you end up often feeling irritable, anxious, depressed or bored.  And all of that negative energy further depletes you and pushes self-care even farther into the background. According to Dr. Christiane Northrup, a women’s health expert, the key to self-care is knowing in your heart that the best way you can care for others is by caring for yourself.  It’s not selfish or to take care of yourself first.  By doing so, you are assured that you have enough energy to take care of the other people in your life. Here are some easy ways you can let self care … [Read more...]