Your Boundary is Your Invisible Self-Monitoring Tool

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time management

There are a variety of tools available to keep you on track such as budgets, time management, journals and vision boards. And, like the other tools you avail yourself of to stay on track and reach your goals, you can also use your invisible self-monitoring tool to create strong boundaries that protect you from time stealers, energy drainers and negativity. I’m sure you wouldn’t allow guests in your home to trample on your furniture, paint on your walls or deface your property in some other way. Yet, many times, we unwittingly invite people to disrespect our boundaries by leaving a trail of negativity in their wake. For example: The “friend” who does not listen to you or value your opinions People who infringe on your … [Read more...]

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Stop the Energy Drainers that are Painting You into a Corner

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woman painted into corner

When your energy level feels like you have been in a maze with no visible means of escape and you find yourself making needless mistakes, forgetting to put the trash out, where you put keys, or missing an important appointment, it’s time to stop the energy drainers in their tracks. Feeling constantly exhausted, confused, distracted and just plain out of sorts is a formula for burnout and leads to worry, fear and despair. Yet, every day, many women experience this feeling with no relief in sight. According to a study done by the American College of Physicians, in the United States, 24% of the general adult population has had fatigue lasting 2 weeks or longer; 59%-64% of these persons report that their fatigue has no medical … [Read more...]

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How to Maintain Self-Care and Keep an Emotional Healthy Outlook

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From time to time, most of us get over-shadowed by a less than healthy emotional outlook. Yet, that does not mean we have to dwell in it or accept it as our reality. When your emotional outlook is cloudy, it’s important to allow the sun to shine through by taking some well-deserved time for self-care. Many women today lead lives punctuated with to-do-lists, decision-making, family obligations, social and community activities, chauffeuring, appointments and a host of other to-do’s. Yet, while all this “busy-ness” may give you a sense of accomplishment, purpose, validation and acceptance, it comes with a high price. The price you pay is in lack of consistent self-care and that takes a serious toll on your emotional and physical … [Read more...]

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How To Lovingly Separate From Negative Influences

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4 Angry Girl from jasonippolito [Flicke]

  I recently asked a client how he could  lovingly separate from a situation filled with conframa [confusion and drama] that was sucking up every ounce of energy he had.  He replied, …”I don't know how I can lovingly separate ... ”. My client expressed exactly what a lot of people think about when they hear the word separate. It does not mean physically abandoning a friendship, marriage or other situations that zap your energy. On occasion, we all encounter angry, obstinate, whining people who complain, gossip, criticize, zap our energy and leave us feeling drained. Lovingly separating from negative people and influences is a way to release your emotional connection to the drama, confusion, pessimism, and other … [Read more...]

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Look Within to Find Your Way Home

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Do you recall the characters from the Wizard of Oz? They all thought something was missing from their lives and they just had to find the missing piece ... Dorothy dreamed of finding her way home to Kansas The Tin Man thought he would be happy if he only had a heart The Scarecrow believed he would be happy when he had a brain The Cowardly lion thought he would find happiness with some courage Just as a lot of us do, they all were looking for answers outside of themselves.  And is most often the case, all we need is already is within our reach. The characters in the Wizard of Oz thought they didn't have what they needed to be happy. In case you need a gentle reminder from your friendly wizard about what it … [Read more...]

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3 Tips to Set Strong Boundaries

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  Your boundary is the invisible shield you put up to protect the many demands placed on your time, energy, and resources. Visualize your boundary as a shield that protects you from energy drainers, time takers and resource stealers. Protect your boundaries by learning to say NO. Begin setting strong boundaries by using these 3 tips: Practice – Practice saying NO.  You always have the power to say NO to any request just as others have the power to say NO to your requests. When you say NO to a request for money, time, gifts or commitments, you are in essence asserting your power and authenticity.  You get to set your own boundaries. You take charge of your time, energy and resources. If you are in the habit of saying YES … [Read more...]

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How To Throw Light On Fears That Keep You In The Dark

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Flashlight

Are you feeling like you are scrambling around lost in a dark tunnel without a flashlight to guide you?  Fear can make you feel that way. Don’t beat yourself up. There are a lot of women who experience that same feeling while doing and giving even more to our families, careers, and community responsibilities that we often feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things we have on our plates. I’ve felt that way myself from time to time while I was trying to juggle a gazillion hats, taking care of everybody but me and living a life of overwhelm, confusion and anxiety. The same kind of fear you feel when you find yourself in an unfamiliar dark place with no way to see your way out is the kind of fear that a lot of women experience … [Read more...]

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In Pursuit of Happiness

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Happy people

  Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony - Gandhi Most people expend a great amount of time looking for happiness in all the wrong places . They chase dreams rather than live dreams. Their lives are stimulated only by addictions, religions, and even other people in a futile attempt to fill the void with purpose and meaning. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within. Happiness is a state of mind based on how worthy you feel. How you feel about yourself is a direct result of the accumulated experiences you have had, particular growing up.  For instance, if you grew up being made to feel worthy, valued, loved, protected and respected, most likely you feel … [Read more...]

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TIP: How to Build a Strong Emotional Boundary

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This is your life

How does your outer world reflect your inner world? Are you constantly misplacing your keys, spending time looking for things, never having enough time, surrounded by chaos and negativity? When you outer world is disorganized, so is your inner world and it reflects a lack of focus and clarity. TIP: Change the way you think about things.  Replace negative, limiting, self-sabotaging thoughts with positive thoughts and affirmations.  Immediately turn each negative or limiting thought into a positive statement before it has time to infiltrate your subconscious. If you have enjoyed this tip, please submit your comments below and click the share button to share it with your … [Read more...]

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TIP: How to Create a Strong Financial Boundary

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money

A major stress for many people in these challenging economic times is money.  How do you view money?  Do you have an easy come easy go attitude, are you a thrifty spender or are you burdened with debt? Whatever your view of money is, the following tip may be helpful to get or keep your finances in order. TIP: Spending more than one earns is a recipe for accumulating massive debt.  Create a budget and stick to it.  Track your spending for a month so that you know where your money is going.  You may be surprised at how much you spend on coffee, snacks and non-essentials. If you are in the habit of saving a portion of your income, congratulations and keep up the good work. Eliminate credit cards - Create a short and long term … [Read more...]

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