Archive for Fear
Tap Into Your Inner Wizard to Overcome Fear and Doubt
Posted by: | CommentsYou might wish you had enough courage live authentically, write a best selling novel or live with purpose and authority. You might long for loving, fulfilling relationships with your partner, family and friends. Or you think you don’t know the answers to the probing questions you have.
The answers you’re looking for already within you. You already have the intelligence, courage and confidence to achieve your hearts desire.
But doubt and fear have you stuck so that you can’t find your way back to the happiness and success you desire.
No matter what other dreams you have, being happy is a dream most people share.
Yet, a lot of people are “unhappy”, given up on their dreams, constantly overwhelmed, confused and lack the strength to implement changes in their lives.
Often, underneath this unhappiness is fear coupled with limiting beliefs that cloud their thinking about what is possible.
And, they’re looking for answers everywhere but within themselves.
Everything you want is already within your grasp if you only look deep inside to find it.
Do you remember “The Wizard of Oz” movie where all the characters thought they could get what they needed from the Wizard?
The Scarecrow thought he needed a brain
The Tin Man thought he didn’t have a heart
The Cowardly Lion thought he had no courage
Dorothy wanted to find a way to go home
As it turned out, everything they wanted and needed was already there within them. All they had to do was look inside for the answers. The answers were buried deep in their thoughts. Once the doubt, fear and limiting beliefs are pushed aside, the scarecrow realized his brain was functioning just fine; the tin man figured out he was capable of showing emotions; the cowardly lion recognized he was already brave; and Dorothy discovered she simply had to click the ruby red slippers she already wore to get back home.
Just like the Wizard of Oz characters, your inner wizard is standing by ready, willing and able to give you a gentle nudge to remind you that everything you want in life is already within your grasp.
And to get you bouncing down the yellow brick road, here are some tips to help you tap into your heart’s desires:
- To get happy, be happy. I know that sounds overly simplistic but the reality is you become what you think. Don’t allow negativity, doubt and fear keep you from being happy. If you want more joy in your life, think uplifting thoughts.
- To have more, be grateful for what you already have. Remember, a closed fist is not open to receiving. Open yourself up to receive the abundance the universe has in store for you. The more you show gratitude for what you already have, the more room you have to receive.
- Keep dreaming. Your dreams can motivate you to take action towards your unique desires. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. No one can take away your dream or live it. Whatever you desire, start now putting in place the steps to get you there.
- Surround yourself with people who are uplifting, supportive and encouraging to keep you motivated.
Remember Dorothy, the Tin man, the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow…They all had self-doubt, fear and limiting thoughts about themselves and what they could do that thwarted what they really wanted. But in the end, it was their inner wizard that showed them how to live confidently, courageously and step boldly into the lives that were already destined for them.
And, for support in discovering your inner wizard, I invite you to join our Self Care Circle where you will you’ll get helpful tips on living well, gems of insight and advance notice of my blog posts, events and programs.
Gladys Anderson, Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified life coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, consultant, workshop facilitator and author of the soon to be published book, “Master the Genie Within”. She coaches women in the art of saying no and how to protect their precious time and energy by setting strong boundaries to create a uniquely crystal clear vision for the satisfying careers and relationships they truly want. In her spare time, Gladys loves to travel and experience new and exciting adventures. She is an amateur genealogist, avid reader, loves “techy” stuff, and especially enjoys reading mystery novels.
You Are Meant to Illuminate the World with Your Light!
Posted by: | Comments“Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us”, as Marianne Williamson’s writes in her famous book, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles. Her words continue to inspire and remind me to let my light shine.
We all have our own special light to shine into the world. But so often our aspirations get buried under a bushel of doubt, insecurity and fear. You are meant to illuminate the world with your light!
It may be that you want to return to school to learn a new skill, change the way you react and respond to the people in your life, or it may be that you want more time and energy for self care. Whatever vision you have for your life, you already have within you everything you need to manifest it. It is YOUR responsibility to present it to the world.
“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” — Mary Dunbar
You see, shrinking into the darkness of where your challenges, hurts, disappointments and fears reside is like entering a dark room without a flashlight or candle. Now, imagine entering that dark room with a candle to illuminate your way. The candle becomes the beacon to uncover your hidden talents, gifts and dreams.
What’s your special light the world is waiting for you to shine?
- Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care. To get tips, start living out loud with more enthusiasm, energy, passion, and self-confidence now, get your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Stop the Energy Drainers that are Painting You into a Corner
Posted by: | CommentsWhen your energy level feels like you have been in a maze with no visible means of escape and you find yourself making needless mistakes, forgetting to put the trash out, where you put keys, or missing an important appointment, it’s time to stop the energy drainers in their tracks.
Feeling constantly exhausted, confused, distracted and just plain out of sorts is a formula for burnout and leads to worry, fear and despair. Yet, every day, many women experience this feeling with no relief in sight.
According to a study done by the American College of Physicians, in the United States, 24% of the general adult population has had fatigue lasting 2 weeks or longer; 59%-64% of these persons report that their fatigue has no medical cause.
I suspect these numbers would be a lot higher if this study focused on the percentage of adult women who experience unrecognized chronic fatigue.
Let’s take a look at some of the known energy drainers and what you can do about them:
- Rushing – When you move at lightening speed trying to do and give more and more of your energy, you are prone to make mistakes. Rushing simply wastes bucket loads of energy unnecessarily. When you rush, you forget things, skip meals, and are more likely to be distracted and ultimately even more rushed. Slow down, take a few deep breaths and reassess the situation. It will be there when you return more focused and able to move at a slower pace.
- Lack of a system – You don’t have to store every detail, appointment, or to-do-list item in your memory bank. A simple time management system will help you to stay on track and nudge you to recall the things you need to do. You can easily become frustrated trying to recall the items you need from the grocery store, the kids schedules and your commitments. Without an easy to use system, you’re chipping away at the mental energy you could use elsewhere to create a greater impact on your life. Use an electronic calendar on your cell phone, other device or a paper scheduler to stay on top of things.
- Meeting everyone’s needs before your own. It takes a lot of energy to take care of your loved ones and while taking care of loved ones provides a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, it also requires valuable energy. In worse cases, it can even breed resentment – another huge source of energy drain. Carve out some “me time” and learn that taking care of YOU is your highest priority if you want to continue giving lovingly to others.
- Painting yourself into a corner. Making promises you are unable to keep, taking on that extra assignment at work and holding down a part time job may feel like you have no way out and are painting yourself into a corner. You do have a choice. Make only promises and commitments you are able to keep and always have an exit strategy if needed.
- People Pleasing – Always ready to lend a hand? Great! But, when your overzealousness to please overrides your overall sense of value, worth, goodness and deservedness, then it crosses over into people pleasing. There’s nothing wrong with helping other people, but it’s another thing when your helping is done out of a sense of obligation, guilt or “have to”. Learn to say no to the things that cause you stress or discomfort. You will be relieved from the weight of over-scheduling, guilt, and irritation. Use your power of choice to free up your time and energy to do things that are joyful, fun and add meaning to your life.
And, in the meantime, if you are serious about setting strong boundaries, clearing more time in your busy schedule for self-care and want to live a harmonious life then I invite you get my FREE Special Report, Building Strong Boundaries to Give You More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
You can also connect with me on these social media sites as well:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/GladysAnderson
Face Book: http://www.facebook.com/Coachforyourdreams
FriendFeed: http://friendfeed.com/gladysanderson
Until next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care
How To Throw Light On Fears That Keep You In The Dark
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Are you feeling like you are scrambling around lost in a dark tunnel without a flashlight to guide you? Fear can make you feel that way.
Don’t beat yourself up. There are a lot of women who experience that same feeling while doing and giving even more to our families, careers, and community responsibilities that we often feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things we have on our plates.
I’ve felt that way myself from time to time while I was trying to juggle a gazillion hats, taking care of everybody but me and living a life of overwhelm, confusion and anxiety.
The same kind of fear you feel when you find yourself in an unfamiliar dark place with no way to see your way out is the kind of fear that a lot of women experience every day. It’s the kind of fear that puts limits how you live your life, keeps you stuck in roles you didn’t create and hinders you from living a life of freedom and joy.
We all have moments of fear but when it immobilizes you and keeps you from living your best life, that’s when it’s time to shed some light on fear and expose it for what it really is.
So how do you do that?
- First, you must understand the difference between healthy fear that keeps you safe and unhealthful fear that keeps mired in overwhelm, worry and uncertainty. Fear is a False Expectation Appearing Real [without any proof]. Take a close look at the belief you hold that is powering the fear. For example, if your comfort zone doesn’t allow you to risk taking on a new challenge or pursuing an opportunity that you know you want, maybe you’ve received a negative message early in your life that you’ve translated into a strong negative belief about yourself and/or your abilities
- Secondly, know without a doubt that fear has no power except that which you give it. Look fear straight in the eye and say, “you can no longer control me and keep me hostage”. Take back your power with a vengeance.
- And, last, but not least, be able to recognize when unhealthful fear appears in your life. Consider the times when you didn’t speak up just so you would avoid conflict. Question your real motivation for not taking a desired action. Are you operating out of guilt, frustration or because of perceived expectations?
Once you are clear about what fears keep you stuck in intolerable situations and overwhelm, you’re in a position to write a new script for your life where you become the sole author, editor and producer of your new destiny.
Doesn’t that sound yummy…
To stay connected and get more tips, join us in the Self-Care Circle and receive your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Until Next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
In Pursuit of Happiness
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Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony – Gandhi
Most people expend a great amount of time looking for happiness in all the wrong places . They chase dreams rather than live dreams. Their lives are stimulated only by addictions, religions, and even other people in a futile attempt to fill the void with purpose and meaning. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.
Happiness is a state of mind based on how worthy you feel. How you feel about yourself is a direct result of the accumulated experiences you have had, particular growing up. For instance, if you grew up being made to feel worthy, valued, loved, protected and respected, most likely you feel happier.
On the other hand, if your experiences led you to feeling unworthy, unloved and disrespected, you may be unhappy, have low self esteem, weak boundaries and lack confidence.
Your internal critic (the negative messages received and embedded in your subconscious) may attempt to sabotage your happiness quotient which will in turn affect your level of self-confidence and self-esteem.
Self confidence is the realistic and positive expectations you have for yourself, your abilities and others. Self confident people exude a sense of control in their lives.
Self esteem is what you think of yourself. If you think you are insignificant, unworthy, devalued, that is the perception you will also present to the world. How you allow yourself to be treated and the way you show up to the world has the greatest impact on your self esteem. No one can make you a doormat unless you willingly lie down.
Fear is another negative influence that dictates how you feel, think and interact in your relationships with others. Each time, you don’t speak up for what you deserve, want and need, you allow fear to rule. Fear is an emotion and one that you have complete control over. Your choices are to let fear rule or you rule fear. Fear is the biggest obstacle to growth and change.
Procrastinating and putting off needed actions you believe you must take, is acknowledging that you really don’t have the necessary confidence to carry them out.
Your happiness depends on the expectations and mindset you have about happiness.
To quote the actress, Betty Davis – “You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.”
Here are some tips to get your happy dance on…
- Maintain a sense of humor; everything is not a matter of life or death. Try to find the humor in stressful situations.
- Lower your worry quotient. Worrying about things over which you have no control will overwhelm and deplete you. Concentrate on the things you have control over. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you must worry, allow yourself 5 minutes to dwell on the situation and move on to something more productive.
- Be flexible. Things will not always go the way you want but if you are adaptable, you won’t raise your blood pressure by trying to have it your way. Allow for a change in plans.
- Schedule wisely. Don’t add more things into your day than you can reasonably handle. Over scheduling leads to frustration, anger and resentment. Avoid it. Set clear boundaries around your time.
- Happiness is a series of choices you make that determine how you react or respond to a given situation. Remember, no one but you can determine your happiness. Make wise choices based on the things that are important to you.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself and others. Make sure your expectations aren’t rooted in faulty beliefs based on negative experiences.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
About the Author:
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist. Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries, build balance and create breathing space in their busy lives.
What Are You Tolerating Today That Could Free You to Live Authentically?
Posted by: | CommentsIn my work, I talk to many women who are convinced that their lot in life has been cast. Whatever circumstance they find themselves in, they have deluded themselves into believing that the situation can’t change for them and struggle to make sense of the choices they have made.
One woman in an intolerable relationship felt that she had made a commitment and no matter what, she would “stick it out”. Another woman I know decided long ago that her life was dictated by the circumstances of her upbringing and continued to relinquish her power to her family.
Commitment and a sense of responsibility is a wonderful attribute, however, when loyalty binds you to intolerable situations, it’s time to refocus.
I once heard someone say, “people will treat you the way you teach them to treat you”. You can’t be authentic and not recognize how the choices you make determine the outcomes. You can’t be authentic and not take responsibility for those choices. You must make a conscious choice, based on your true integrity, to decide whether or not you will live your lives based on your authenticity or fall prey to ways that others may dishonor who y are.
What are you tolerating/putting up with in your life now that if eliminated would give you more joy and freedom?
We all put up with something, sometime. The point is, if you really give some thought to what you are tolerating in your life today, it may surprise you to realize that what you’re tolerating has been disguised as commitment, obligation, responsibility, duty and other acceptable language.
How different would the quality of your life be, if you made that distinction, and took action to change it? Only you know what you are tolerating that is hindering you from living the life you want and deserve.
Somewhere, underneath the false sense of obligation, is an underlying fear – fear of being alone, fear of financial ruin, fear of rejection, fear of the unfamiliar and fear of change. When you allow fears, procrastination and lack of confidence in your abilities to collide with your authentic reality; you set yourself up for unnecessary discontent, worry, sadness, and disappointment.
To live joyful, creative, peaceful lives, you must make choices that are in alignment with your authenticity. You must delve deep underneath the negative voices inside your head and uncover those messages that erode your self confidence and knowledge of how unique and wonderful you really are.