Archive for confidence
Choose Your Words Carefully – Use Empowering Words
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Choose your words carefully and make your wishes known by using empowering words such as I choose to/not to or I will/won’t. Disempowering words like “I/you can’t, “I/you have to”, and “I/you should”, send the message that you easily give away your power or you’re attempting to disempower someone else with misguided expectations.
For example, every time I find myself saying “I should”, I ask myself am I responding to my wishes or someone else’s. This is the formula I use:
- Is it good for me?
- Is it good for them?
- Do I want to do it
If it’s not something you really want to do or you’re considering doing it because you want to please or you’re looking to get validation or acceptance, then you are responding to an unspoken expectation placed on you, your time, energy or resources. Peppering your sentences with “should” is placing the responsibility for what you want and feel outside of yourself.
It may be that you choose dis-empowering words because you tell yourself you’re shy, you think it’s “pushy” to assert yourself, you lack firm consistent boundaries or enough confidence to assert yourself.
If any of the above ring true, isn’t it time you stand up, speak out and free yourself of the constraints that hold you back from getting what you want?
Here are a few suggestions to begin:
- Choose to use empowering words – Use empowering words like “I choose to/I choose not to” instead of “I have to or I should”. When you use powerful words like these, you begin to act and feel powerful.
- Align your verbal expressions to match your values and demonstrate the self-worth and respect you have for yourself.
- Avoid negative self-talk and your speech won’t be peppered with doubts and limitations resulting in self- sabotaging behaviors.
- Clearly and powerfully express your desires - If you don’s powerfully speak up, ask for what you want, you leave the door open for others to speak for you and make decisions not in your best interest.
- Set clear and realistic expectations for yourself and others – You cannot predict what others think or do but you have complete control of your thoughts, actions and responses.
Choose your words carefully – use empowering words to express what you want, what you will do, and what you will accept. Set clear boundaries around how you spend your time and energy. If you’re not in the habit of using empowering words, it may be uncomfortable at first but with practice, you can master it.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care. Get my FREE special report: Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life and stay in touch with me by email for more self-care tips.
Appreciate Yourself First and Watch Your Confidence Soar
Posted by: | CommentsWomen have many roles and responsibilities in their lives. You are a mother, daughter, friend, leader, co-worker, wife, partner, volunteer, financial expert, homemaker, caregiver and more – all at the same time. All of these responsibilities and multitasking contributes to feeling overwhelmed. That’s why it is critical for women to take time the time to value themselves and all the things they do. Taking some time every day to value what you do helps you to do a better job in all the other areas of your life. It also makes you feel good about yourself!
There are many different ways you could value yourself. One of the ways to do this is to build your self-confidence. Confidence is the belief you have in your ability to reach your goals. Women who are emotionally well have a strong belief that they are able to succeed.
Here are three ways you can feel more confident:
• Doing what you do best: Place your focus on the things you do well (i.e., knitting, sewing, quilting, etc.) If you can’t identify what you do well, ask your friends, families and colleagues. Once you identify the things you do well, begin to focus more time on those things and congratulate yourself (give yourself a high-five, pat yourself on the back) when you have accomplished something, This will contribute to increased self-confidence.
• Watch what others are doing: Seeing someone like yourself succeed will help you believe that you can do it, too. If there is something you have always wanted to do but you are not sure you can do it, then find another woman who is doing it. Ask her how she does it, ask for tips and suggestions.
• Make use of your emotions: If you have a hard time starting something, use your emotions to help you take action. Recognize that it’s okay to be afraid, nervous or excited about something new. Accept those feelings and use them to help you get going.
Here are some tips to increase your self-confidence:
• Don’t Compare: Your abilities and talents are uniquely yours and special. Everyone has different goals in life and ways of thinking about what accomplishment means. Decide what success means for you. What success means for your neighbor is uniquely theirs to achieve just as your success is uniquely yours.
• Focus on past successes: Think about the times when you have made a difference in someone’s day. Think about the times you made someone smile or helped them get through a difficult situation. Give yourself credit for the good things you do for others every day.
• Learn from your mistakes: We all make mistakes. Mistakes are the soil in which we grow. The best use of your energy and time is to learn from what went wrong without dwelling on it.
Remember, it will take time and hard work to make changes. You will have both successes and setbacks along the way. However, be gentle with yourself and keep working at it, and the improvements will show up over time.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.