TIP: How to Simplify and Systematize Your Space Boundary

TIP:  De-clutter your surroundings by getting rid of clogged files, clothes you no longer can wear, old costume jewelry, and other things that you no longer find useful, enjoyable or serve to enhance your life. Create a system for everything; organize files and folders – You can create folders and rules in your e-mail so that you can easily find key contacts and their emails. Donate clothes to a worthwhile charity. Getting rid of clutter creates space to receive more of what you really want in your life. About the Author: Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist.  Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries,  … [Read more...]

How Adding Chocolate Making to Your Busy Schedule Leads to Stress

Normally I don't read the Martha Steward column because she gives far more complicated instructions than I have the time or desire to undertake. Today was an exception, since anything with the word chocolate in it immediately catches my attention. The title, Chocolate Covered Strawberries, was clearly calling my name. I looked at the title and immediately had a vision of special "me" time, curled up in front of a fire, jazz playing softly in the background, browsing through my newest magazine and delighting in mouth watering chocolate covered strawberries. As I read the instructions, I couldn't help but think that Martha was now beginning to write recipes for the average, busy, chaos-filled life of the women of America like me.  So … [Read more...]

What I learned About Boundaries From Larry, the Cable Guy

  Yesterday evening I picked up my phone poised to dial out and there was dead silence…no dial tone, no static…nothing… My first thought was I had inadvertently disconnected one of the many tangled cords underneath my desk. If you’ve ever had to crawl around into the abyss under your desk on your hands and knees, you know this is no small feat. With flashlight in hand, I checked each of the sundry connections making sure they were all housed in their respective homes.  From my non-techy vantage point, everything looked to be in order. Time to place a call to the provider of my phone service, which is also my cable company. With cell phone in had, I make the call.  Little did I know this was just the beginning of my saga … [Read more...]

What Happens to Your Body When You’re Stressed – Part 1

Have you heard the phrase, "stress is a killer".  Surely, that phrase should be a wake up call to get a handle on stress. But, unfortunately, most of us wear stress like a comfortable pair of old shoes. According to the American Academy of Family Physicians, two-thirds of office visits to family doctors are for stress-related symptoms such as fatigue, body aches, obesity and heart palpitations. These are stressful times for all of us and coupled with our day-to-day stressors, we can easily become affected by stressful symptoms. When you  have a gazillion things on your to-do-list, you're overwhelmed by the demands on your time, and can't take a minute just for yourself,  your body will respond to these stressors as though you are … [Read more...]

The Effects of Stress and How it Shows Up in Your Life – Part 2

I know you hear a lot about stress but unless you get a grip on stress, stress will get a grip on you and won't let go. The second article in this series is meant to give you concrete examples of how stress shows up in your life. I'm sure you have either experienced or know someone who seems prone to accidents, often gets burned while cooking,  is always tired or gets frequent colds during the winter.  It's not that you or anyone else is unlucky, unhealthy, clumsy or unfocused.  These are all early warning signs leading to stress overload. Let's take a look at the effects stress has on your body. Physical Stress - Do you often complain of a headache or wake up tired?  Here are some signs of physical stress: Frequent … [Read more...]

Expanding your comfort level

Have you ever heard the phrase “good enough”?  I want you to start using it. When you think everything has to be done a certain way or with perfection, stop and say to yourself, “it’s good enough”. Good enough doesn't mean "less than".  It also doesn't mean haphazard, lazy, or irresponsible.  Now I know that "good enough" isn't always actually good enough, especially if you're a heart surgeon or airplane mechanic.  For day-to-day living, good enough, is good enough.  Carefully thinking out the outcome you want and with a good dose of common sense and self-confidence, you will be able to see that your best really is good enough and nothing more is needed to make it better. This concept of “good enough” is going to be difficult for … [Read more...]

Stop the People-Pleasing Syndrome Dead in its Tracks

Pleasing others is not necessarily a bad thing. Considering the needs of others, graciousness and the willingness to help others are admirable traits. For many people, the desire to please becomes a reliance on others for approval and acceptance, even when it restricts their own happiness and health. Constantly trying to gain acceptance, validation and approval is a detriment to relations, health and sabotages boundary making. "As a people-pleaser, you feel controlled by your need to please others and addicted to their approval. At the same time, you feel out of control over the pressures and demands on your life that these needs have created” writes Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D., in The Disease to Please. Consider the following … [Read more...]

Top 3 Things You Can Do To Take Control of Your Life

There is so much in life we have little or no control over. You can't control the weather or the sun rising or setting but the good news is there are many other things that you absolutely CAN control. Here are some of them: 1) Let Go of Expectations Let go of the notion that you can change another person, their actions or non-actions. Your moral compass may not be the same as someone else's. When you let go of the expectations you have of others, you can have more control of your own life. It opens up your mind to focus on your own life and more time to focus on what truly matters to YOU. When you let go of the expectations you have of others, you will no longer allow anyone to yank your chain causing knee-jerk reaction fraught with … [Read more...]

In Perfect Alignment

Have you ever wondered if you make the right choices, live your life in harmony with what you know to be true? One of the things that I absolutely know for sure is that I have the right to make choices for my life, express my desires and am in total control of how I speak, act and respond to circumstances, other people and situations. I need only to respond in alignment with my own truth. I offer you the following things that you must embrace if you are to live joyfully and in alignment with your own unique truth: 1) Know that you are in control of your thoughts, actions, words and responses. When your response is in harmony with your words actions and thoughts, you are empowered and joyful. 2) You can confidently state … [Read more...]