Archive for caregivers
Top 5 Reasons to Take Back Your Time
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In the book, Take Back Your Time: Fighting Overwork and Time Poverty in America by John De Graaf, we are encouraged to organize a Take Back Your Time Day on the fourth Friday in October as a way to avoid overwhelm, exhaustion and overwork.
We are consumed by “time poverty” and “busy-ness”. A recent USA Today article featured a study commissioned by Westin Hotels & Resorts where 1,500 employed professionals were polled by STUDYLOGIC. The study found that 64% of workers admitted they had canceled or postponed a vacation this year and 33% said it was because of stress at work, too many responsibilities or too busy to plan a vacation.
Take back your time…you’ve earned it! Vacations are intended to refresh and give you a break from the stress of work. Why not take advantage of the opportunity to regain energy and rejuvenate so you’ll better be able to perform at an optimum level?
And, here are 5 good reasons to take back your time so you can stay refreshed and energized …
- Gratitude - Show appreciation for the things you already have in your life and the universe will bestow more gifts in your life. Take a break from your to-do list and start a gratitude journal. Write down at least 5 things you are grateful for every day.
- Self-Care – Carve out some space from you “busy-ness” for self-care so you will have the mental and physical energy to enjoy your abundance. Make sure you schedule “me time” on your calendar so you can do the things that you enjoy.
- Schedule wisely – When you try to squeeze in “just one more thing” into your already crowded schedule, you open yourself up to overwhelm, frustration and energy drainers. Set realistic priorities and complete one task before moving on to the next one. On occasion, take a “mental health day”, don’t answer the phone, check email or text. Relax and enjoy spending time with YOU.
- Organization - Organize your to-do list by what’s important NOW. Everything doesn’t have to get done today. Organization gives you a sense of confidence and accomplishment. When have some organization in place, tasks don’t seem so daunting.
- “End your day with some downtime - At the end of your day, take 15 minutes to unwind and relax. You deserve it! Sit quietly, take several deep breaths and calm your mind from the days busy-ness.
Until next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care. To get tips, start living out loud with enthusiasm, energy, passion, and self-confidence now, get your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Stop the Energy Drainers that are Painting You into a Corner
Posted by: | CommentsWhen your energy level feels like you have been in a maze with no visible means of escape and you find yourself making needless mistakes, forgetting to put the trash out, where you put keys, or missing an important appointment, it’s time to stop the energy drainers in their tracks.
Feeling constantly exhausted, confused, distracted and just plain out of sorts is a formula for burnout and leads to worry, fear and despair. Yet, every day, many women experience this feeling with no relief in sight.
According to a study done by the American College of Physicians, in the United States, 24% of the general adult population has had fatigue lasting 2 weeks or longer; 59%-64% of these persons report that their fatigue has no medical cause.
I suspect these numbers would be a lot higher if this study focused on the percentage of adult women who experience unrecognized chronic fatigue.
Let’s take a look at some of the known energy drainers and what you can do about them:
- Rushing – When you move at lightening speed trying to do and give more and more of your energy, you are prone to make mistakes. Rushing simply wastes bucket loads of energy unnecessarily. When you rush, you forget things, skip meals, and are more likely to be distracted and ultimately even more rushed. Slow down, take a few deep breaths and reassess the situation. It will be there when you return more focused and able to move at a slower pace.
- Lack of a system – You don’t have to store every detail, appointment, or to-do-list item in your memory bank. A simple time management system will help you to stay on track and nudge you to recall the things you need to do. You can easily become frustrated trying to recall the items you need from the grocery store, the kids schedules and your commitments. Without an easy to use system, you’re chipping away at the mental energy you could use elsewhere to create a greater impact on your life. Use an electronic calendar on your cell phone, other device or a paper scheduler to stay on top of things.
- Meeting everyone’s needs before your own. It takes a lot of energy to take care of your loved ones and while taking care of loved ones provides a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, it also requires valuable energy. In worse cases, it can even breed resentment – another huge source of energy drain. Carve out some “me time” and learn that taking care of YOU is your highest priority if you want to continue giving lovingly to others.
- Painting yourself into a corner. Making promises you are unable to keep, taking on that extra assignment at work and holding down a part time job may feel like you have no way out and are painting yourself into a corner. You do have a choice. Make only promises and commitments you are able to keep and always have an exit strategy if needed.
- People Pleasing – Always ready to lend a hand? Great! But, when your overzealousness to please overrides your overall sense of value, worth, goodness and deservedness, then it crosses over into people pleasing. There’s nothing wrong with helping other people, but it’s another thing when your helping is done out of a sense of obligation, guilt or “have to”. Learn to say no to the things that cause you stress or discomfort. You will be relieved from the weight of over-scheduling, guilt, and irritation. Use your power of choice to free up your time and energy to do things that are joyful, fun and add meaning to your life.
And, in the meantime, if you are serious about setting strong boundaries, clearing more time in your busy schedule for self-care and want to live a harmonious life then I invite you get my FREE Special Report, Building Strong Boundaries to Give You More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
You can also connect with me on these social media sites as well:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/GladysAnderson
Face Book: http://www.facebook.com/Coachforyourdreams
FriendFeed: http://friendfeed.com/gladysanderson
Until next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care
Can You Really Eat, Pray, Love Your Way to Happiness?
Posted by: | CommentsI recently traveled across three countries on a delicious quest for enlightenment, purpose and passion. Actually, my journey took place from the comfortable seat in my local movie theater. I tagged along with Julia Roberts, as Liz Gilbert, as she took me along on her search for spirituality, love and adventure in the movie, Eat, Pray, Love. It was quite a journey!
Without giving away too much, the movie revolved around Liz, a woman desperately looking to find out who she really was and what she wanted in her life. I enjoyed watching this incredible woman evolve over a period of 12 months but couldn’t help but wonder, Can You Really Eat, Pray, Love Your Way To Happiness?I’m not so sure you need to traverse across three countries to find happiness. But, I do believe that joyfulness comes from within and opens your eyes to the beauty of infinite possibilities and an amazingly fulfilling life. In lieu of taking a journey across the world, here are some things you can do on your pilgrimage to happiness:
- Take responsibility – Realize, at the end of the day, you are the only one responsible for you own happiness. Allowing others to dictate how you life is orchestrated, makes for unhappiness and restlessness. Make choices based on what you desire most, not what you think you “should” do.
- Be honest with Yourself – If you honestly don’t want to do something – then don’t. Don’t say things that aren’t true to yourself or others. Speaking truthfully builds integrity and a foundation for cultivating confidence.
- Self-Explore – What are your values? What do you really want? How do you want to live your life? These are questions that will get to the root of your happiness. Ask them of yourself often until you’re comfortable with the answers. Some people find prayer and meditation helpful when they are seeking answers.
- Do what you love – I once heard someone say, “Just because you can do anything doesn’t mean you can do everything”. Engage in activities that bring you joy. Dust off a hobby that you put on the shelf eons ago and start being creative again. If, it’s adventure you crave, plan one and go for it! Nothing is outside your reach if you are passionate about it.
How will you start to Eat, Pray, Love your way to happiness! And, in the meantime, if you are serious about setting strong boundaries, clearing more time in your busy schedule for self-care and want to live a harmonious life then I invite you get my FREE Special Report, Building Strong Boundaries to Give You More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
How to Maintain Self-Care and Keep an Emotional Healthy Outlook
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From time to time, most of us get over-shadowed by a less than healthy emotional outlook. Yet, that does not mean we have to dwell in it or accept it as our reality. When your emotional outlook is cloudy, it’s important to allow the sun to shine through by taking some well-deserved time for self-care.
Many women today lead lives punctuated with to-do-lists, decision-making, family obligations, social and community activities, chauffeuring, appointments and a host of other to-do’s.
Yet, while all this “busy-ness” may give you a sense of accomplishment, purpose, validation and acceptance, it comes with a high price. The price you pay is in lack of consistent self-care and that takes a serious toll on your emotional and physical health.
Oprah once said, “I don’t have a weight problem – I have a self-care problem that manifests through weight”.
Because Oprah is another very busy woman who neglected to take time for herself, she fell prey to heart palpitations, a thyroid condition and weight gain and emotional drain.
Here are some clear indications that you may have an unhealthy emotional outlook and what you can do about it:
Worrying over things outside of your control – When you worry you are trying to prevent those nasty little surprises that catch you off guard. Or another way of putting it is, you’re trying to control the outcome of something or someone else. Whenever those irritating thoughts pop up, write yourself a “worry list”. From your list, pick one worry and devote 10-15 minutes to it. Once the time is up, immediately engage in another activity that will keep your mind occupied. Doing this puts you in control and minimizes the amount of time you spend worrying.
Putting your needs on the back burner – Giving up your precious time and energy to worry, predicting, and project leaves you little time to exercise, relax and refresh both your physical and mental health. This often leads to physical ailments, burnout, irritability and an inability to take care of you and the people you care about. Make sure you schedule some time to rejuvenate and relax so that you have the energy to take care good care of YOU while taking care of the other people in your life
Build Resiliency – Resiliency is the ability to bounce back from adverse circumstances. For example, this is what Michael J. Fox said about having Parkinson’s disease, “If I let it affect me, it’s gonna own everything. I don’t deny it or pretend it’s not there, but I don’t allow it to be bigger than it is. I can’t always control my body and I can’t control whether or not I feel good…but I can control how clear my mind is and I can control how willing I am to step up if somebody needs me.” Having in place the emotional stamina to withstand life’s setbacks, not only builds resiliency, but keeps you out of the role of victim, and also helps you to control the things within your power to control”.
Whatever thoughts or beliefs you hold, your mind will believe it because your brain only responds to your subconscious voice.
So when the clouds of “busy-ness” threaten to color your life, remember that the answer is self-care!
And, in the meantime, if you are serious about setting strong boundaries, clearing more time in your busy schedule for self-care and want to live a harmonious life then I invite you get my FREE Special Report, Building Strong Boundaries to Give You More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Until next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
It’s Always the Time to Celebrate YOU!
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Get out the candles, balloons and confetti and let’s party! It’s always the time to celebrate YOU by honoring your accomplishments! Rejoice in the things you did; the things you didn’t do; and your victories – big and small.
How many times have you worked hard to get a promotion, struggled and sacrificed to loose that final 10 pounds, or passed a class with flying colors only to let the accomplishment pass by with hardly a notice?
Were you that busy or just didn’t think it worthy of celebration?
Women are notorious for downplaying the valuable and worthwhile things we do and easily forgo the significance of rewards for a job done well. Traditionally, with the exception of Mother’s Day, women don’t commemorate accomplishments such as going through a difficult time and coming out victorious; maintaining an orderly and clean household, or throwing and organizing a party with pizazz.
Men, on the other hand, have always been encouraged to observe their achievements – promotions, fatherhood, and sporting victories. Although, women are out in the world making a difference everyday, we still need to stop and remind ourselves to breathe and pat ourselves on the back for jobs well done.
So what will you do to make sure you take notice of your successes?
If you’ve completed a class, lost weight, decluttered a drawer, organized an event, volunteered or kept a commitment to yourself – you have something to celebrate NOW. And, no rewarding yourself for the good things you do is not being self indulgent or conceited. Simply put, you Celebrate the “being” of you! by taking time to acknowledge your contributions and achievements . If you’re not in the habit of doing things to Celebrate YOU, then the following can serve as a guide:
- Buy a bouquet of flowers for yourself – this is one of my favorites and you can do this not just to celebrate but anytime you need a lift.
- Delight in a day of pampering – Give someone a chance to serve you instead of the other way around. If you usually do your own hair or nails, schedule an appointment at a salon to get the pampering you deserve.
- Toot your own horn – Plan a milestone birthday party just the way you want it. Or you don’t have to wait for a birthday. Why not plan a Tuesday party and celebrate all the good things that have happened in your life on a Tuesday or a particular date in a month.
- Treat yourself to a fun activity that you rarely make time to do. For example, plan to schedule an afternoon movie marathon. Even if you spend a Sunday afternoon watching Lifetime Movies, do that – if it’s something you enjoy.
- Indulge in some deliciously sinful dessert or some other treat you usually pass up. Even while watching the calories, you can still treat yourself in moderation.
Let’s hear all the unique and creative ways you celebrate your victories! Leave your comments here on the blog.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
Look Within to Find Your Way Home
Posted by: | CommentsDo you recall the characters from the Wizard of Oz?
They all thought something was missing from their lives and they just had to find the missing piece …
- Dorothy dreamed of finding her way home to Kansas
- The Tin Man thought he would be happy if he only had a heart
- The Scarecrow believed he would be happy when he had a brain
- The Cowardly lion thought he would find happiness with some courage
Just as a lot of us do, they all were looking for answers outside of themselves. And is most often the case, all we need is already is within our reach.
The characters in the Wizard of Oz thought they didn’t have what they needed to be happy.
In case you need a gentle reminder from your friendly wizard about what it takes to get unstuck, joyful, courageous, and confident, here are a few things to think about:
- When you can’t find your true self and feel lost, clear your mind of limiting thoughts. Open yourself us to the answers that are deep within you. The more open you are to receiving the answers, the more of your authentic self will be uncovered. Sometimes you may need the help of a wise wizard to get you on your way.
- Fear is a limiting emotion when it keeps you stuck thinking the same negative thoughts about what you can or cannot do. Start with baby steps until you are comfortable taking larger steps that will get the results you want.
- Live your dream. You dream is uniquely yours. No one can take away your dream or live it. If you know deep inside there is something you want to do, you may need the support of a coach or trusted friend to help you sort out all the pieces.
- Think positive, affirming thoughts to ward off negativity and doubt about what you are capable of doing.
Remember, the only thing that kept Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow from getting what they wanted was their own thoughts. Change how you think and the solutions you desire will be evident.
What thoughts are holding you back from finding your way home?
Share your thoughts, observations, and comments…I would love to hear from you.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers balance the many demands on their time and energy, create boundaries that shift balance from overwhelm to energized, and live their lives with courage, confidence and clarity.
How To Throw Light On Fears That Keep You In The Dark
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Are you feeling like you are scrambling around lost in a dark tunnel without a flashlight to guide you? Fear can make you feel that way.
Don’t beat yourself up. There are a lot of women who experience that same feeling while doing and giving even more to our families, careers, and community responsibilities that we often feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things we have on our plates.
I’ve felt that way myself from time to time while I was trying to juggle a gazillion hats, taking care of everybody but me and living a life of overwhelm, confusion and anxiety.
The same kind of fear you feel when you find yourself in an unfamiliar dark place with no way to see your way out is the kind of fear that a lot of women experience every day. It’s the kind of fear that puts limits how you live your life, keeps you stuck in roles you didn’t create and hinders you from living a life of freedom and joy.
We all have moments of fear but when it immobilizes you and keeps you from living your best life, that’s when it’s time to shed some light on fear and expose it for what it really is.
So how do you do that?
- First, you must understand the difference between healthy fear that keeps you safe and unhealthful fear that keeps mired in overwhelm, worry and uncertainty. Fear is a False Expectation Appearing Real [without any proof]. Take a close look at the belief you hold that is powering the fear. For example, if your comfort zone doesn’t allow you to risk taking on a new challenge or pursuing an opportunity that you know you want, maybe you’ve received a negative message early in your life that you’ve translated into a strong negative belief about yourself and/or your abilities
- Secondly, know without a doubt that fear has no power except that which you give it. Look fear straight in the eye and say, “you can no longer control me and keep me hostage”. Take back your power with a vengeance.
- And, last, but not least, be able to recognize when unhealthful fear appears in your life. Consider the times when you didn’t speak up just so you would avoid conflict. Question your real motivation for not taking a desired action. Are you operating out of guilt, frustration or because of perceived expectations?
Once you are clear about what fears keep you stuck in intolerable situations and overwhelm, you’re in a position to write a new script for your life where you become the sole author, editor and producer of your new destiny.
Doesn’t that sound yummy…
To stay connected and get more tips, join us in the Self-Care Circle and receive your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Until Next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.
TIP: How to Build a Strong Emotional Boundary
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How does your outer world reflect your inner world?
Are you constantly misplacing your keys, spending time looking for things, never having enough time, surrounded by chaos and negativity?
When you outer world is disorganized, so is your inner world and it reflects a lack of focus and clarity.
TIP: Change the way you think about things. Replace negative, limiting, self-sabotaging thoughts with positive thoughts and affirmations. Immediately turn each negative or limiting thought into a positive statement before it has time to infiltrate your subconscious.
If you have enjoyed this tip, please submit your comments below and click the share button to share it with your friends.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist. Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries, build balance and create breathing space in their busy lives.
TIP: How to Create a Strong Financial Boundary
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A major stress for many people in these challenging economic times is money. How do you view money? Do you have an easy come easy go attitude, are you a thrifty spender or are you burdened with debt? Whatever your view of money is, the following tip may be helpful to get or keep your finances in order.
TIP: Spending more than one earns is a recipe for accumulating massive debt. Create a budget and stick to it. Track your spending for a month so that you know where your money is going. You may be surprised at how much you spend on coffee, snacks and non-essentials.
If you are in the habit of saving a portion of your income, congratulations and keep up the good work.
Eliminate credit cards – Create a short and long term plan to pay off outstanding credit cards. Not only will you be free from debt but you will also gain a new found sense of freedom.
About the Author:
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist. Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries, build balance and create breathing space in their busy lives.
TIP: How to Simplify and Systematize Your Space Boundary
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TIP: De-clutter your surroundings by getting rid of clogged files, clothes you no longer can wear, old costume jewelry, and other things that you no longer find useful, enjoyable or serve to enhance your life.
Create a system for everything; organize files and folders – You can create folders and rules in your e-mail so that you can easily find key contacts and their emails.
Donate clothes to a worthwhile charity.
Getting rid of clutter creates space to receive more of what you really want in your life.
About the Author:
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist. Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries, build balance and create breathing space in their busy lives.