boundary making - Coach for Your Dreams

Your Boundary is Your Invisible Self-Monitoring Tool

There are a variety of tools available to keep you on track such as budgets, time management, journals and vision boards. And, like the other tools you avail yourself of to stay on track and reach your goals, you can also use your invisible self-monitoring tool to create strong boundaries that protect you from time stealers, energy drainers and negativity. I’m sure you wouldn’t allow guests in your home to trample on your furniture, paint on your walls or deface your property in some other way. Yet, many times, we unwittingly invite people to disrespect our boundaries by leaving a trail of negativity in their wake. For example: The “friend” who does not listen to you or value your opinions People who infringe on your … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Self-Care Practices, Self-Care Tips Tagged With: boundary making, making choices, Personal Boundaries, Self-Care Practices, self-care tips, setting healthy time boundaries

3 Tips to Set Strong Boundaries

By Gladys Anderson Leave a Comment

Your boundary is the invisible shield you put up to protect the many demands placed on your time, energy, and resources. Visualize your boundary as a shield that protects you from energy drainers, time takers and resource stealers. Protect your boundaries by learning to say NO. Begin setting strong boundaries by using these 3 tips: Practice – Practice saying NO. You always have the power to say NO to any request just as others have the power to say NO to your requests. When you say NO to a request for money, time, gifts or commitments, you are in essence asserting your power and authenticity. You get to set your own boundaries. You take charge of your time, energy and resources. If you are in the habit of saying YES … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: boundary making, boundary tips, Personal Boundaries, saying no

5 Essential Boundary Making Tips

By Gladys Anderson Leave a Comment

How are you allowing others to set limits on your time and resources? Are you still taking on more and more tasks when your plate is already running over? To keep from rocking the boat, what things are you doing that you would rather not? Taking your precious time to run an errand for someone just because they asked is not a way to show you have strong boundaries around YOUR time. How jam packed is your schedule with the many things you "have to" do for your friends and family that don't leave time for YOU? There are very few things you "have" to do. Replace "I have to" with "I choose to"...You always have the choice to determine how you spend your time, energy and resources. What stories do you tell yourself supporting the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Self-Care Practices Tagged With: boundary making, boundary tips, caregivers, energy, Self-Care Practices, spinning your wheels, women

What I learned About Boundaries From Larry, the Cable Guy

By Gladys Anderson Leave a Comment

Yesterday evening I picked up my phone poised to dial out and there was dead silence…no dial tone, no static…nothing… My first thought was I had inadvertently disconnected one of the many tangled cords underneath my desk. If you’ve ever had to crawl around into the abyss under your desk on your hands and knees, you know this is no small feat. With flashlight in hand, I checked each of the sundry connections making sure they were all housed in their respective homes. From my non-techy vantage point, everything looked to be in order. Time to place a call to the provider of my phone service, which is also my cable company. With cell phone in had, I make the call. Little did I know this was just the beginning … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: boundary making, caregivers, clutter, coach for your dreams, coaching, gladys m. anderson, lessons learned, organization, organize, Personal Boundaries

Stop the People-Pleasing Syndrome Dead in its Tracks

By Gladys Anderson Leave a Comment

Pleasing others is not necessarily a bad thing. Considering the needs of others, graciousness and the willingness to help others are admirable traits. For many people, the desire to please becomes a reliance on others for approval and acceptance, even when it restricts their own happiness and health. Constantly trying to gain acceptance, validation and approval is a detriment to relations, health and sabotages boundary making. "As a people-pleaser, you feel controlled by your need to please others and addicted to their approval. At the same time, you feel out of control over the pressures and demands on your life that these needs have created” writes Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D., in The Disease to Please. Consider the following … [Read more...]