I read the countless emails as if they are messages from God! Most could have easily been deleted based simply on the subject. The stacks of papers piled on my desk have been rearranged at least ten times and still nothing has been filed or thrown out. I stop moving papers just long enough to get sidetracked into investigating what’s in a seldom opened drawer.
My 2011 goals lay to one side, stuck in some kind of inertia just waiting for me to pay attention. Papers to be filed, bills to be paid, mail to answer – all sit patiently waiting in the wings while I peruse Facebook and click on endless links cleverly concealed in flowery messages promising me more success, love, money, happiness, etc…and play computer games.
And as I mindlessly flit between all this “inactivity”, I hear on the radio one of my favorite vocalists, Diana Krall, passionately singing, “Pick Yourself Up and Start All Over Again”:
Nothings impossible I have found For when my chin is on the ground I pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again
Don’t lose your confidence if you slip
Be grateful for a pleasant trip And pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again
Bingo!! That’s when I realize how I’ve let one disappointing setback put me in this state of confusion, zapped my confidence, stuck and unmotivated instead of productive and focused on the new year ahead.
Has this ever happened to you?
You may be wondering how a coach/therapist can get to such a place. Well, I get there like everyone else by allowing it. I allowed one disappointment to outshine all the good that is taking place in my life by dwelling on what “could/should” have been and allowing disappointment to color my world with a smokescreen.
No one can depress you. No one can make you anxious. No one can hurt your feelings. No one can make you anything other than what you ALLOW inside.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer
But the good news is I know how to get unstuck, pick myself up and start all over again. Here’s what I know for sure about procrastination, setback, and disappointment:
- Go with the flow – If I’m procrastinating, maybe my mind and body is telling me to just “be”. And if that means I browse Facebook and other sites for hours, maybe that’s just the down time I need to rejuvenate my body, mind and spirit. Down time is not a bad thing. And, after all the holiday hoopla and day-to-day stressors, it’s good to “chill out” and take a break from your normal routine.
- Acknowledge setbacks but don’t dwell on them – Don’t beat yourself up if things don’t turn out the way you expected. Dwelling on a disappointing setback only serves to erode your confidence and keep you from moving forward. The key is to learn from the lesson lurking in the setback, pick yourself up and start all over again.
- Reevaluate Your Expectations – Disappointment may mean that you’ve set an unrealistic expectation. When you encounter disappointment and find yourself procrastinating and stuck, use the time to reflect and re-focus on your expectations. The result just might be more clarity, relaxation and direction.
How do you pick yourself up when faced with setbacks, procrastination and disappointment? And, while you’re here, I’d sure love for you to share your comments, experiences and observations.
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.