Fall into Action before 2009 Ends

With the crisp mornings and even cooler evenings here in New England, it seems we are fast approaching the end of another year. The leaves have changed colors. The sky has taken on its winter hue. The frenzy of the holidays are fast approaching with just a few more weeks until the beginning of a new year! Where did the time go? If you're anything like me, you wonder how summer could have come and gone so quickly. Speaking of how quickly things change…how much headway have you made toward accomplishing the changes you started out with at the beginning of  2009? What promises did you make to yourself this year? How are you doing with your exercise routine? Where are you in finally getting rid of that clutter? What ideas … [Read more...]

Stop the People-Pleasing Syndrome Dead in its Tracks

Pleasing others is not necessarily a bad thing. Considering the needs of others, graciousness and the willingness to help others are admirable traits. For many people, the desire to please becomes a reliance on others for approval and acceptance, even when it restricts their own happiness and health. Constantly trying to gain acceptance, validation and approval is a detriment to relations, health and sabotages boundary making. "As a people-pleaser, you feel controlled by your need to please others and addicted to their approval. At the same time, you feel out of control over the pressures and demands on your life that these needs have created” writes Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D., in The Disease to Please. Consider the following … [Read more...]

In Perfect Alignment

Have you ever wondered if you make the right choices, live your life in harmony with what you know to be true? One of the things that I absolutely know for sure is that I have the right to make choices for my life, express my desires and am in total control of how I speak, act and respond to circumstances, other people and situations. I need only to respond in alignment with my own truth. I offer you the following things that you must embrace if you are to live joyfully and in alignment with your own unique truth: 1) Know that you are in control of your thoughts, actions, words and responses. When your response is in harmony with your words actions and thoughts, you are empowered and joyful. 2) You can confidently state … [Read more...]

It’s True: You Can Get Rid of the Clutter Monster

Do you know that a quarter of homeowners with two-car garages use them exclusively for storage and park in the driveway? How do we become such hostages to the jumble of odds and ends that once gave us pleasure and fond memories and now have outlived its usefulness? This week, I finally took on the gigantic task of clearing the clutter from my basement storage area and the garage! Whew! How many times had I said, "we really need to clear out some stuff of this stuff." It was merely a passing comment…didn't happen! So to solve the problem, I tried my best to ignore the growing mound of useless odds and ends that had taken over my space. I finally could tolerate it no longer. So amongst the empty soda cans, the unused boxes of … [Read more...]

What Are You Tolerating Today That Could Free You to Live Authentically?

In my work, I talk to many women who are convinced that their lot in life has been cast. Whatever circumstance they find themselves in, they have deluded themselves into believing that the situation can’t change for them and struggle to make sense of the choices they have made. One woman in an intolerable relationship felt that she had made a commitment and no matter what, she would “stick it out”. Another woman I know decided long ago that her life was dictated by the circumstances of her upbringing and continued to relinquish her power to her family. Commitment and a sense of responsibility is a wonderful attribute, however, when loyalty binds you to intolerable situations, it’s time to refocus. I once heard someone say, “people … [Read more...]