Bad News is a Bummer

Bad news is a bummer. It matters little if the news is life changing or a disappointing outcome; it can easily be a shock or a setback. Last week, my day started out as usual until I got a phone call from a relative with some pretty disturbing news that changed my whole outlook. When things like that happen, do you resort to hand wringing, crying, questioning "why", what if", and "if only”? I must admit, for a short while I was stuck in worry mode. After taking some really deep breaths to get centered, I focused on what I could realistically do about the situation. This is what I came up with to bounce back from worry: Be Realistic - Is there anything you can do to realistically change the situation? If you can change the … [Read more...]

When Good Enough is Enough

The concept of good enough comes from the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, John Bowlby's theory about "good enough parenting".  The premise is that children can and do thrive with parental substitutes (relatives, adoptive parents, etc) and that this mothering is good enough even when the child was deprived of a connection with his birth mother. As I thought about this theory, I couldn't help but wonder how we strive for perfection and don't accept when good enough is enough. Most of us have been programmed for perfection. We are taught early to avoid what is considered failure at all cost. In our schools, we learn a to strive for an 'A" or a perfect score and anything less is considered a failure. What about those students who get a … [Read more...]

Can Money Buy Happiness?

I once had a cute little refrigerator magnet that said, “money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a week in the Bahamas”. Your level of happiness is never determined by your purchasing power.  Of course, having access to enough money to be comfortable is preferable to living in poverty but it does not insure your happiness. The Boston Globe ran an interesting article some time ago drawing from research into that time worn question: Can money buy happiness?  The study found that "there's a certain point beyond  which people have enough to comfortably feed, clothe, and house themselves, having more money - even a lot more money - makes them only a little bit happier". These days money is a hot topic  – how much you have, will you … [Read more...]

Choose Your Words Carefully – Use Empowering Words

Choose your words carefully and make your wishes known by using empowering words such as I choose to/not to or I will/won't.  Disempowering words like "I/you can't, "I/you have to", and "I/you should", send the message that you easily give away your power or you’re attempting to disempower someone else with misguided expectations. For example, every time I find myself saying  “I should”, I ask myself am I responding to my wishes or someone else's.  This is the formula I use: Is it good for me? Is it good for them? Do I want to do it If it's not something you really want to do or you're considering doing it because you want to please or you're looking to get validation or acceptance, then you are responding to an unspoken … [Read more...]

Self-Care Can Sneak Its Way Into Your Daily Routine

 Self-care can sneak its way into your daily routine even when you’re so exhausted you hardly have enough energy to crawl out of bed. But, if you don’t make space daily for self-care you end up often feeling irritable, anxious, depressed or bored.  And all of that negative energy further depletes you and pushes self-care even farther into the background. According to Dr. Christiane Northrup, a women’s health expert, the key to self-care is knowing in your heart that the best way you can care for others is by caring for yourself.  It’s not selfish or to take care of yourself first.  By doing so, you are assured that you have enough energy to take care of the other people in your life. Here are some easy ways you can let self care … [Read more...]

Who Else Wants to End 2010 With a Bang?

Summer has hardly settled into Autumn and already  I’m starting to see Holiday advertisements long before I’m ready to even think about shopping, cooking, entertaining and decorating.  Maybe it’s just me, but everything seems rushed and the weeks just seem to fly by. I still have a lot to accomplish before year end and maybe you do too.  And no matter how much  you plan and organize, you are still adding to your to-do-list. I don’t know about you but with a little over than 3 months left in 2010, I have many miles to go before I sleep! So, who else wants to end 2010 with a bang? I sure do. And, here are some tips to give you a head start to end 2010 with a bang: Review your goals - Review the things you want to … [Read more...]

How Risk Taking Can Thrust You Into Action

I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not.- Lucille Ball When you think of risk, what comes to mind? Do you see risk as something hazardous, intense foolish,  or do you think of  risk taking as exhilarating, breathtaking and stimulating? Risk can be all those things and more. It's finding the best possible solution when facing uncertainty and making the best decision you can make under the circumstances. It took courage to enter a new relationship, learn to ride a bike, start a business or move to a new city.  Yet, despite setbacks, you achieved these and more and you survived them, didn’t you? It takes courage and commitment to take risks. When you avoid experiencing the … [Read more...]

Top 5 Reasons to Take Back Your Time

  In the book, Take Back Your Time: Fighting Overwork and Time Poverty in America by John De Graaf, we are encouraged to organize a Take Back Your Time Day on the fourth Friday in October as a way to avoid overwhelm, exhaustion and overwork. We are consumed by "time poverty" and "busy-ness".  A recent USA Today article featured a study commissioned by Westin Hotels & Resorts where 1,500 employed professionals were polled by  STUDYLOGIC.  The study found that 64% of workers admitted they had canceled or postponed a vacation this year and 33% said it was because of stress at work, too many responsibilities or too busy to plan a vacation. Take back your time...you've earned it! Vacations are intended to refresh and give you a … [Read more...]

Make time for self care

Making time for self-care is one of the first things we give up when life gets hectic and our energy level is low. With all the attention we give to taking care of others, juggling tasks, meeting deadlines and being responsible, it’s no wonder we often feel there’s no space in our busy schedules left for us. And, as we take on more and more, we begin to feel like our lives are unmanageable and overwhelmed by all of the constant demands that take up our precious energy. You may think you don’t have the stamina for self-care but when you start to take care of yourself first, you’ll be surprised at how much more energy you have to take care of everything else. Here are three quick tips to create the space you need for … [Read more...]

Stop to Smell the Roses While In Pursuit of Happiness

Are you waiting for your situation to change so you can be happy? Many people are waiting for that illusive dream to manifest, the great idea to be implemented, the new house, car or some other tangible evidence that says they are Happy. Stop to smell the roses while in pursuit of happiness! Happiness is a state of mind based on how worthy you feel, how deserving you think you are of good things coming your way. Your internal critic (the negative messages received and embedded in your subconscious) may attempt to sabotage your happiness quotient which will in turn affect your level of self-confidence and self-esteem. Self-confidence is the realistic and positive expectations you have for yourself, your abilities and others. … [Read more...]