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Supercharge Good Self-Care Practices
Posted by: | CommentsSupercharging your good self-care practices is not just about getting the occasional manicure, massage or facial. Although, I’m certainly not opposed to these sweet indulgences!
photo credit: dMap Travel Guideimage
There are as many ways to practice good self- care as there are ripples in the ocean. Unfortunately, most women overlook what it takes to build the foundation of good self-care.
Taking care of yourself is not just the things you do for yourself, it’s also about taking good care of what you feel deep inside. You can start by clearing away the fog from the mirror so you can see and begin to appreciate who you really are.
Here are a few ways you can begin to supercharge good self-care practices:
- Trust your instincts – Distrust is an inner feeling of caution or lack of belief, which leads you to suspect someone of being dishonest or having a hidden agenda. For example, you may “distrust” a stranger who acts suspicious or you perceive as “odd” . Or, you may have little or no faith in the rhetoric spouted by politicians. Mistrust is not to be confused with distrust. Mistrust is to merely lack confidence in someone or even yourself. Listen attentively to what your instincts or gut feeling is saying. Don’t mistrust your instincts. It will guide your way.
- Get a handle on fear – Fear and doubt crept in for me when I was about 6-7 years old. I heard, “don’t do that”, “don’t go there”, “don’t think ‘that’ – “it’s dangerous”,” you could hurt yourself”, “it’s not good for you”. What messages to send to an impressionable child who would need all the confidence and assertiveness she could muster to overcome challenges and risk believing in herself! My early training taught me to fear the unknown, mistrust my decision-making and to be cautious about how dangerous it was “out there”. I’ve since learned that fear is an emotion like any other and that I get to decide how dangerous or uncomfortable I feel in any situation. If fear has you stuck – not taking risks – or afraid of outcomes, you must treat fear as an enemy and either ignore it or show it who’s really in charge of your life.
- Exhale – When we exhale, our chest expands with a sigh of relief that allows space to take in fresh air. I liken this to breathing in whispers of confidence, courage and a strong belief in ourselves. And in doing so, we exhale toxic fear, self-doubt and diminished self-worth.
Believe in yourself, trust yourself and discount any and all messages you have received that limit you and keep you from living the life you were meant to live.
Gladys M. Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
What’s in Your Self-Care Toolbox?
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What’s in your self-care toolbox? Just as you have physical tools to complete tasks and projects, you also use tools that help you maintain your self-care.
You probably have a computer, smartphone, e-reader or other tool that you use to stay organized, focused, entertained and on track. These are the same tools that once were considered faddish, sophisticated or out of reach for the average user.
Yet, most of us can’t imagine our lives without our cell phones, electronic calendars, music players and game consoles.
Can you recall what it was like to connect with your long distance family and friends or even conduct business before we had Skype, Facebook, e-mail, or webcams? These are the tools that are so ingrained in our everyday lives that we now take them for granted.
I may be dating myself, but I can recall when we wrote letters that took 5-7 days to reach the recipient or the days when my long distance charges could feed several families in a third world country.
Tools serve a useful purpose in our daily lives. And in most cases, tools make our lives easier and more manageable. Our self-care toolbox is as essential as the scissors we use to cut paper and fabric or hammers and nails to hold things together.
In other words, a tool can be considered anything that helps us get the job done whether it’s a physical task or the emotional job of living your best life.
For instance, here are some of the things I have in my self-care toolbox that help me to stay organized, focused, accountable and inspired:
- A journal for recording thoughts, desires, and feelings that otherwise I might forget
- Passion about the things I love
- Humor for the time when life trips me up
- Calendar to make sure I adhere to a schedule
- Kindness to offset hurtful behaviors and harsh words
- Address book so I don’t have to remember a multitude of cell phone numbers, home phone numbers, email addresses and birthdays
- Gratitude journal to remind me to be thankful for what I already have
- Affirmations to replace negative, limiting and scarcity filled messages
- Patience for the times when I’m irritable and rushed
- Quotes and inspirational writings for the times I need uplifting
- Good friends whom I can call on for encouragement and support
- Commitment to finding a way to make it happen
What’s in your self-care toolbox?
And, to get another helpful tool for your self-care toolbox, I invite you to join our self-care circle and get a FREE Special Report, Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life .
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care
5 Easy Changes to Make Your Self-Care a Top Priority
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I’m sure you remember the familiar flight attendant reminding you to make sure your oxygen mask is on before attempting to help your seatmate. Well, the same holds true for you and your self-care. If you don’t take good care of yourself, you won’t have the energy, desire or time to help those you care about.
I hear the same story over and over from women who bought into the excuse that they just “don’t have enough time” to make self care a top priority.
Often times, neglecting self-care leads to undue stress and other physical ailments such as high blood pressure, poor sleep patterns and a lack of energy. I recently spoke to a woman who was irritable, sleeping poorly, lacked energy and was borderline hypertensive. Yet, she could not make the connection between her symptoms and the need for self-care.
When you take time for self-care, you not only feel better but you also avoid emotional distress and physical ailments.
If you’ve put your self-care on the back burner, you can now move it to front and center by using these 5 easy changes to make your self-care a top priority:
- Commit to putting “me time” on your busy schedule at least once a week to indulge in a soothing massage, relaxing manicure or leisurely bath.
- Get up 15 minutes earlier than usual for some quiet time to meditate, pray or write in your journal. Early morning is a good time to get centered for the hectic day ahead.
- Instead of watching the late night news or putting in that last load of laundry, use the last half-hour of the evening to unwind and relax.
- Turn off your computer and phone for an hour. The world won’t stop spinning. Use this time for redirection, reflection and refocusing.
- Take a daily 5-10 minute break to relax with a soothing cup of tea or other beverage so that your mind and body has an opportunity to slow down and rejuvenate.
“There is no shame in giving to oneself, especially since it aids in having enough to give others.” ~ Rachel Arlene Singh
None of these tips take a lot of time out of your day. And, once you make your self-care a priority, I’m sure you’ll discover that you have more energy to take care of all the other demands made on you and your time.
Until next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified life coach, family therapist and group coaching specialist, Gladys M. Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care. To get more self-care tips, start by getting your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Do You Make These Deadly Mistakes When Carving Out Time for Self-Care?
Posted by: | CommentsI know how difficult it is to carve out space for self-care when you are inundated with the ironing, cooking, cleaning and trying to balance your personal and professional life. It may seem like all the demands made on you are draining you of precious energy and you’re so tired you could sleep for a week, yet you might not sleep well even if you have time.
It’s hard to believe, but we are just a few weeks away from the busy holiday season. The struggle for self-care will be even more evident when we take on the added stress of shopping for gifts, entertaining and trying to fit self-care into our busy schedules.
Do you make these deadly mistakes when carving out time for self care?
- Saying “yes” when you really want to say no – Agreeing to do things under pressure, out of guilt, or just because it’s easier leads to frustration and violates your personal boundaries.
- Engaging in unnecessary distractions – Your time may be consumed by “fillers” – i.e., TV, Internet, texting and the constant demand to be in touch with everything and everyone. All of this connection takes precious time away from the most important connection of all – the connection with self.
- Lacking a morning ritual – Wake up earlier than usual and squeeze in an extra half- hour to pray, meditate or sit quietly. This is time to focus on yourself before beginning your day.
- Disregarding your boundaries – Your boundaries reflect what is or is not acceptable for you as an individual. They mark out the things that are important to you and how you expect to be treated by others. It is your responsibility to guard these boundaries carefully because they represent your authentic self and your life goals. You must be prepared to say “no” to requests or demands that cross your boundary lines and demand treatment from others that is consistent with the limits you’ve set for yourself.
If any of the above sounds familiar, it may be time to carve out time for self-care. Here are some suggestions:
- Learn to say no – Only agree to do those things that you have the time, energy and resources to do. Doing so builds self-confidence and frees up time for you to do the things you enjoy most.
- Reserve space for YOU – Taking care of everyone and everything drains your energy pool. Reserving special time for yourself is crucial and ensures that you are replenished and ready to face the tasks ahead with energy and enthusiasm.
- Set strong, healthy boundaries – Only by setting limits on your time and energy will you effectively manage self-care. Make sure you set aside time, at the least once a week, to rejuvenate your energy pool.
To get more tips, tools and ideas for self-care, start by getting your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
Make time for self care
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Making time for self-care is one of the first things we give up when life gets hectic and our energy level is low. With all the attention we give to taking care of others, juggling tasks, meeting deadlines and being responsible, it’s no wonder we often feel there’s no space in our busy schedules left for us.
And, as we take on more and more, we begin to feel like our lives are unmanageable and overwhelmed by all of the constant demands that take up our precious energy.
You may think you don’t have the stamina for self-care but when you start to take care of yourself first, you’ll be surprised at how much more energy you have to take care of everything else.
Here are three quick tips to create the space you need for self-care:
- Silence – Spend just a few minutes sitting quietly reading or with you feet up yield untold benefits in reducing stress. Quiet reflection is an ESSENTIAL part of your self-care.
- Schedule space for You – When you get overly tired, stressed, frustrated and anxious, that’s a signal that you need to relax and rejuvenate. Make sure you allow an interval in your busy schedule to replenish so you’ll be able to handle whatever crops up.
- Resiliency – Resiliency means you are able to make adjustments and bounce back quickly when difficulties arise. One of the biggest causes of stress is rigid expectations for yourself and others. When you’re resilient, you’re like the tree that bends in the winds but you’re less likely to break.
These simple changes can make a huge impact on your well-being and your inner state of being. You may also want to take a look at situations in your outer life to see if changes need to be made that can help support your inner work. For example, you may decide to relinquish certain responsibilities that no longer serve you or that you no longer find enjoyable especially if it’s an energy drainer and time stealer.
Make time for self care in your busy schedule and you will experience a greater feeling of contentment, satisfaction and harmony.
Until next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care. To get tips, start living out loud with enthusiasm, energy, passion, and self-confidence now, get your FREE copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
How to Maintain Self-Care and Keep an Emotional Healthy Outlook
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From time to time, most of us get over-shadowed by a less than healthy emotional outlook. Yet, that does not mean we have to dwell in it or accept it as our reality. When your emotional outlook is cloudy, it’s important to allow the sun to shine through by taking some well-deserved time for self-care.
Many women today lead lives punctuated with to-do-lists, decision-making, family obligations, social and community activities, chauffeuring, appointments and a host of other to-do’s.
Yet, while all this “busy-ness” may give you a sense of accomplishment, purpose, validation and acceptance, it comes with a high price. The price you pay is in lack of consistent self-care and that takes a serious toll on your emotional and physical health.
Oprah once said, “I don’t have a weight problem – I have a self-care problem that manifests through weight”.
Because Oprah is another very busy woman who neglected to take time for herself, she fell prey to heart palpitations, a thyroid condition and weight gain and emotional drain.
Here are some clear indications that you may have an unhealthy emotional outlook and what you can do about it:
Worrying over things outside of your control – When you worry you are trying to prevent those nasty little surprises that catch you off guard. Or another way of putting it is, you’re trying to control the outcome of something or someone else. Whenever those irritating thoughts pop up, write yourself a “worry list”. From your list, pick one worry and devote 10-15 minutes to it. Once the time is up, immediately engage in another activity that will keep your mind occupied. Doing this puts you in control and minimizes the amount of time you spend worrying.
Putting your needs on the back burner – Giving up your precious time and energy to worry, predicting, and project leaves you little time to exercise, relax and refresh both your physical and mental health. This often leads to physical ailments, burnout, irritability and an inability to take care of you and the people you care about. Make sure you schedule some time to rejuvenate and relax so that you have the energy to take care good care of YOU while taking care of the other people in your life
Build Resiliency – Resiliency is the ability to bounce back from adverse circumstances. For example, this is what Michael J. Fox said about having Parkinson’s disease, “If I let it affect me, it’s gonna own everything. I don’t deny it or pretend it’s not there, but I don’t allow it to be bigger than it is. I can’t always control my body and I can’t control whether or not I feel good…but I can control how clear my mind is and I can control how willing I am to step up if somebody needs me.” Having in place the emotional stamina to withstand life’s setbacks, not only builds resiliency, but keeps you out of the role of victim, and also helps you to control the things within your power to control”.
Whatever thoughts or beliefs you hold, your mind will believe it because your brain only responds to your subconscious voice.
So when the clouds of “busy-ness” threaten to color your life, remember that the answer is self-care!
And, in the meantime, if you are serious about setting strong boundaries, clearing more time in your busy schedule for self-care and want to live a harmonious life then I invite you get my FREE Special Report, Building Strong Boundaries to Give You More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life
Until next time…
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.