If you’re anything like a lot of people, you’ve had your share of problems. And, that could be anything from a pesky leaky faucet to totaling your new car.
In the book, Power is Within You, written by the wise Louise Hays, she talks about how the problems we have with our cars may suggest some inner issue that we have not faced. For example, if you’re feeling stuck and can’t seem to move forward, that feeling might show up in the form of a flat tire preventing you from getting to your destination.
And, just as you would call your local auto club or a friend to fix your tire, you must call on your inner reserves and delve deep into the patterns and perceptions you embrace to repair the irrational beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
Maybe you believe you can’t do anything right. You may regularly find yourself making mistakes that you label “stupid or dumb” such as forgetting to put the trash out on trash day. That’s a simple mistake that can easily be remedied and has nothing to do with your capabilities or worth.
Whether you believe it or not, the events that occur in our lives are directly connected to what we believe about the world, other people and ourselves.
We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions – Stephen Covey
Here are a few things to consider about problems, patterns and perceptions:
1. Inspect Your Expectations
Make a conscious effort to place realistic expectations on yourself and others. Try your best to consider the other person’s perspective. Ask yourself is your expectation is the result of a pattern or perception that the other person is not aware of. For example, your expectation might be that your daughter should rearrange her plans to take you to the mall today. Your may think that because she is your daughter, she should accommodate your request. If the word “should” enters your thoughts, it’s because you’re operating out of expectations.
2. Revise Your Patterns
A pattern is simply a blueprint of things you’ve always done. For example, if you’ve “always” hosted Sunday dinner for your in-laws, you’ve established a Sunday pattern. If you’ve ever sewn anything, you know that any pattern can easily be altered. The way to change a pattern is to measure and compare. Grade yourself on a scale of 1-10 as to whether or not you feel obligated, coerced or put upon by continuing this pattern,(with 10 being the most you are vested in sticking to the original pattern). If you find you’re stuck in a pattern that no longer works for you, change it to something that fits better with your timetable and lifestyle. And, of course, you can always say NO to anything you really don’t want to do!
3. Pesky Problems
Sometimes what we view as problems are nothing more than a bump in the road. It’s not a problem when you’re running late for an appointment and discover you have a flat tire. It’s an inconvenience. When your computer freezes up on you in the middle of a document, it’s not a problem. It’s an inconvenience. Many times we label inconveniences as problems when, in fact, it’s our perception and attitudes that allow “problems” to dictate our behavior and responses. It’s all about how you perceive them. If you view something as a problem, it will be a problem. But if you reframe it as an inconvenience, you know that it’s temporary and won’t change the course of your life.
Most of the time, it’s our perceptions and expectations that create “problems” and establish patterns that no longer fit. For more tips about how to align your perceptions with realistic expectations, visit http://cooachforyourdreams.com/blog
Gladys Anderson, Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson is a certified life coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, consultant, workshop facilitator and author of the soon to be published book, “Master the Genie Within”. She coaches women in the art of saying no and how to protect their precious time and energy by setting strong boundaries to create a uniquely crystal clear vision for the satisfying careers and relationships they truly want.
Create Memorable Holiday Moments
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The past six weeks have been like a whirlwind that keeps gathering speed.
First, we had a major snowstorm the last week of October that knocked out power for over a week. And before I could fully recoup from that, I found myself in the throes of preparing for Thanksgiving.
And, now Christmas is just a few days away!!!
Although, over the years I’ve found ways to cut down on all the hoopla of shopping, planning and cooking, I still sometimes find myself with more to do than I have energy or time for.
Have you ever felt like that?
Earlier I shared with you tips to make your holiday stress free. And, if you haven’t already gotten your audio of 30 Tips in 30 Minutes for Making Your Holidays Stress-Free, Budget-Friendly and Loaded with Remarkably Rewarding Memories, you can get it here: http://bit.ly/tjMMjV
Now, I want to share with you some of the things that work for me to ensure that I create memorable holiday moments even when I feel stressed and overwhelmed. Only you know what will work best for you and your lifestyle. So use what I know for sure as your guide to create your own unique rituals, plans and memorable moments for your holiday celebrations.
What I know for sure:
- The more you push yourself to do more and more, the less energy you will have to accomplish what’s important to you.
- Nothing is cast in stone and you can always revise, omit or change any plans you’ve made.
- Traditions, habits and rituals can be altered or recreated to best fit your present lifestyle and preferences.
- You are totally in control of what you choose to do and give.
Holidays ought to be joyful times filled with memorable moments. And, when what you’re doing stressful, you’re missing out on the true meaning of celebration.
Wishing you a joyful, memorable, stress free holiday!
Gladys Anderson, Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson is a certified life coach, family therapist certified group coaching specialist and author of the forthcoming book, “Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You”. Her competitive edge is empowering women in the helping professions to set boundaries, take charge of their lives and enjoy satisfying relationships and careers.
Holiday Traditions, Rituals and Habits
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Holiday Traditions, rituals and habits are staples of our American culture. But just because your mom or grandmother always did things a certain way doesn’t mean you have to unless you really want to.
In my family, our holiday traditions are wide ranging. Pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving is as traditional as it gets but we’re not exactly the “pumpkin pie” kind of family. We might have the traditional turkey at Thanksgiving or we might have something non traditional like lobster for dinner depending on our mood. We might open our presents or Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. We might invite guests for a sit down dinner or host an open house during the holidays. Maybe, your holiday traditions in your family include y volunteering to serve food at a homeless shelter.
Just because your mother or grandmother always made a roast for the holiday dinner, you don’t have to carry on that tradition unless it’s something you enjoy doing and want to do it.
What traditions do you plan to include or create for your holiday celebrations?
Give yourself permission to create whatever memories are meaningful for you and your family.
You may even decide to skip the cooking, planning, shopping and cleaning altogether and spend the holidays somewhere you and your family can be pampered so you can concentrate on enjoying quality time together.
Whatever traditions, rituals or habits you engage in, make sure you include some down time, fun and relaxation in your holiday plans.
And to get some stress busting, sanity-saving tips to make your holidays more enjoyable, click here to get your copy of “30 Tips in 30 Minutes for Making Your Holidays Stress-Free, Budget-Friendly and Loaded with Remarkably Rewarding Memories.”
Enjoy Your Holidays!!!
Gladys Anderson, Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson is a certified life coach, family therapist certified group coaching specialist and author of the forthcoming book, “Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You”. Her competitive edge is empowering women in the helping professions to set boundaries, take charge of their lives and enjoy satisfying relationships and careers.
Holiday Gift Giving Tips
By · CommentsMost of us are feeling some of the effects of downed economy. However, that doesn’t mean you have to bust the budget to give gifts to those you care about.
After my colleague, Dr. Flora Brown and I finished creating an audio where we share some useful and practical holiday gift-giving, budget friendly tips, I remembered some other tips to share with you.
If you haven’t already picked up you free gift – “30 Tips in 30 Minutes for Making Your Holidays Stress Free, Budget-Friendly and Loaded with Remarkable Memories”, click here to get your free audio download now!
Most of the ideas here are less than twenty dollars and can be ordered on line or purchased locally. They are equally appropriate for both men and women. In the last few years, I’ve found that ordering online from reputable companies saves me from “mall madness” and keeps a few extra dollars in my pocket.
Consider some of these gift-giving tips when you are planning your holiday shopping:
- Travel pillows – Whether traveling by plane, car or train, a travel pillow to support your neck while resting is a welcome relief.
- Journals – A journal is a great way to record your thoughts, feelings, ideas and inspirations. I have several journals and if someone you know journals, I’m sure the would appreciate a decorative or themed one.
- Bookmarks – For the readers of physical books on your list, one or two attractive bookmarks can brighten their day and remind them that you were thinking of them.
- USB flash drives – Most of your tech savvy friends and family members can appreciate a flash drive to store their photos, music or files. I carry a blank one around in my purse – just in case I need it. They take up hardly any space and you never know when one may come in handy for copying and transferring files.
- Personalized aprons or cookbooks – The cooks in your life will appreciate the thoughtful remembrance.
- E-reader covers – A lot of people have e-readers and an e-cover is an inexpensive way to acknowledge their love of reading.
- Personalized picture frames – Take candid photos of you and your friends/family as a remembrance of a special occasion you shared and give the photo to them as a holiday gift.
- Handmade gifts – If you bake, a tin of homemade cookies or other goodies may fill the bill.
Here are some online resources where you can browse for even more gift-giving tips:
http://personalizationmall.com
Like most people, I am all about reducing stress, saving time, money and energy. Shopping inexpensively on line is a great way to preserve your sanity amidst all the rushing and stress of the holiday season.
And, please share with us your budget friendly gift giving tips in the comment section.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson is a certified life coach, family therapist, certified group coaching specialist and author of the forthcoming book, “Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You”. Her competitive edge is empowering women in the helping professions to set boundaries, take charge of their lives and enjoy satisfying relationships and careers.
Can You Show More Gratitude?
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You can never run out of things to be grateful for. So many times we take everyday things for granted – like our cell phone connection, lighting and heat for our homes, the Internet, TV, microwaves, our games and global connections.
Recently, we had a major power outage in our town. Our home was without power for seven days. For some folk the outage lasted longer. Spending two nights in a cold dark house with a fireplace for warmth and four nights in an emergency shelter was a stark reminder for me to be more conscious of the things I have to be grateful for.
It’s easy to be grateful when you receive a tangible gift or for food, clothes, shelter but what about the everyday things that we so easily take for granted like the technology that powers the nifty gadgets we use everyday to make our live easier, saves us time and provides entertainment?
Do you remember what it was like before cell phones with calendars when you lugged around a day planner to keep track of your schedule? It’s much more convenient to have a smartphone that is both calendar, telephone, with countless productivity and entertainment apps to simplify our lives.
I became acutely aware during the power outage of some of the things I’ve neglected to add to my daily gratitude list. Here are just a few of the things I was reminded to be grateful for during the power outage:
- I am grateful for the technology that powers my gadgets – smartphone, computer, microwave, garage door opener, and answering machine
- I am grateful to have gas and electrical service that keeps me warm and cozy
- I am grateful for a large comfortable bed to sleep in
- I am grateful for the town services that supplied food, shelter, and hot showers to hundreds of families
- I am grateful for the friends who were concerned about our well being
- I am grateful for the utility companies from out of state who helped restore power
- I am grateful that we will be reimbursed by our insurance company for the spoiled food in our freezer
This could become quite a lengthy list so I’ll stop here.
I have a lot to be grateful for.
I hope you don’t experience a prolonged power outage before you show gratitude for the daily things you may have taken for granted.
And, for more tips on how you can show gratitude in your life, check out my audio and transcript – More Wealth and Abundance.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other busy overwhelmed women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
Show Your Appreciation in 10 Simple Ways
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Showing appreciation is about more than saying the perfunctory “thank you” when someone does a good deed for us. Many times, we neglect to tell the people who enrich our lives just how we feel about the things they do or say and that create a richer experience for us such as being a good friend or making us laugh.
We take so much for granted that we may not pay that much attention to the daily things we can do to light up someone else’s life. As the wise poet, Maya Angelou says, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
You can start now to “make someone’s day” by not only noticing their good deeds but also showing appreciation for their qualities, characteristics and unique traits. Here are a few ways you can easily brighten up someone’s day:
Taking a little extra time to uplift someone’s spirit goes a long way in showing them that you care and that they matter to you.
And, for more tips on how you can show gratitude in your life and the lives of others, check out my audio and transcript More Wealth and Abundance.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other busy overwhelmed women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
I’ve Never Been to ME
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When you think of a relationship do you think of the connection you have with your family, friends, money, co-workers and neighbors?
Of course you do.
But wait, don’t you also want to think about the loving healthy relationship you have with yourself? You do have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, don’t you?
Or what about the relationship you have with money, your emotional well being, your integrity and your values?
One of my favorite songs is “I’ve Never Been to Me” by Nancy Wilson. In the song, she sings about meeting kings, queens and all the dreams she’s deferred but never been free to be herself. At least that’s my take on the song.
A lot of people have the trappings of what society tells us is a successful life. Take the case of Charlie Sheen, the TV star of the hit comedy, Two and a Half Men. You may recall the train wreck that caused him to fall from grace and self destruct. He had the huge salary, dream homes with luxurious furnishings, fancy cars, jewelry, and exotic vacations. But none of these accessories and outward signs of success equated to happiness and personal freedom.
Ultimately, you and only you are in charge of your happiness and success. All the money in the world does not insure you are living a successful, content and productive life.
If you feel coerced into doing something that you don’t personally approve of, you’re chipping away at your personal freedom.
When you lack the courage to ask questions and speak up for what’s right, you slice away at your integrity.
The freedom you’re looking for won’t come from engaging in reckless behavior or living a life of the rich and famous. The freedom you seek is the freedom to be real, uncovering the loving, brave and self-governed spirit that’s beneath all the outward signs of a happy and fulfilled life.
If you live an authentic life, you’ll never have to bemoan the song, “I’ve Never Been to Me”. If you do relate to the song, it means you’ve lost touch with your core self – the part of you that can’t easily be persuaded to follow the crowd – the part of you that has a core value system that can’t be compromised.
When you can stand up for what you believe without apology and do what’s right, even if you have to risk distancing yourself from family, friends and colleagues, you show up as the “real you”. Your beliefs, actions and values are in alignment and outer trappings of happiness and success do not sway you.
Keep in mind that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
How is the relationship you have with yourself?
To learn more and get your FREE audios of 7 Daily Self Care Tips, I invite you to join our Self Care Circle at http://coachforyourdreams.com.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other busy overwhelmed women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
How to Conquer Your Fears
By · CommentsDoes your throat close up at the thought of standing in front of your peers to give a presentation at work?
Are you afraid that people won’t like you if you say “no”?
Does the idea of starting your own business, or changing careers send shivers down your spine?
Some of the things you fear can keep you confined in a prison of immobility unable to make the necessary change to move forward. And, if not addressed, fear will eventually eat away at your self-confidence and prevent you from feeling empowered, decisive and free to make choices that enrich your life.
Although fear is a natural automatic response to scary situations, it’s not meant to block you from trying new things, following your dreams, or living your best life. Fear is a problem when it holds you hostage and prevents you from experiencing new and interesting things.
Here are some things you can do to create new thoughts about fear:
- Inspect your expectations – A common acronym for fear is “False Expectations Appearing Real”. Unrealistic expectations are a major contributor to fear. When you expect the worst to happen, it usually does. You can balance fear by thinking positively and setting realistic expectations for yourself and others.
- Question your fears – Ask yourself if the fear has merit. Most things we fear will never happen. For example, you may be asked to speak in front of a group and you spend time worrying that you’ll fall flat on your face. But, is this likely to happen? Probably not. Question the possibility of what might happen. Being well prepared goes a long way in alleviating a fear such as public speaking.
- Weigh the pros and cons – Fear loses its power when you remember that it’s simply a feeling. Except in life threatening situations, it can’t harm you. You can choose to ignore it, give in to it or move forward anyway. What is the likelihood of your fear materializing? If you make a mistake, can you correct it?
If you weigh the advantages and disadvantages of the fearful situation, you may discover that a negative expectation is guiding your decision-making.
Researchers tell us that the majority of things we worry about will never happen. I know that’s hard to believe when fear has a hold on you. But, if you can remember that conquering fear means you are empowered and you know when most of your fear is groundless, it becomes easier to overcome.
To learn more about how to conquer fear, I invite you to join our self-care circle and get your FREE special report, Building Strong Boundaries to Create Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys M. Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other busy overwhelmed women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care
What Are You Running From?
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Some of us run to compete in marathons, some of us run fast to keep up with the latest gadgets and newest social phenomena. Others run fast to get away from a ferocious bull whose chief goal is to thrust his sharp horns into your back.
I recently came across an article about the dangerous, and for some, exhilarating sport of running with bulls. While some consider it a sport, animal rights activists call it cruel and dangerous. Still, bull runs attract thousands of participants and spectators every year.
Every year since the 13th century during the San Fermin Festival, in Palmona, Spain, thousands of veterans and tourists flock to the annual running of the bulls. Although, it seems to me the people running are trying their best to run away from the bulls – not with them.
You may be wondering what running from bulls has to do with your life.
Let me share my take on it what it means to run with bulls. Running from bulls is a metaphor for life – taking risks and not letting fear stand in the way of pursuing your dreams. It means that fear doesn’t stop you from taking the risk and you are willing to do what it takes to achieve your goal.
The folk who engage in this dangerous and life threatening “sport” take the risk because they have decided to do it despite fear, danger or limitations. You may not take on such dangerous pursuits as running from bulls but most of us run in other ways.
You may not be trying to stay ahead of a herd of bulls but you may be running from other things that hold your back from living your best life.
Here are some examples of the things you may be running away from:
- Successes in achieving what you say you want because you don’t have a workable plan in place to reach your goals. A powerful way to achieve your goals is through visualization or using a vision board as a daily reminder.
- Opportunities and experiences that could enhance your life by allowing fear, doubt and limiting beliefs to creep into your mindset. Be open to trying new things. Don’t let fear sabotage you from participating in things that will bring you closer to living with joy, harmony and purpose.
- Abundance by focusing on scarcity rather than showing gratitude for what you already have. Use your gratitude journal to list all the things you are grateful for.
- Change because you’re stuck in the same old patterns of behavior. If doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is a recipe you follow, it’s time to make some adjustments to the ingredients. Let go of unrealistic expectations of yourself and others.
- Happiness by letting fears that have you overwhelmed, stressed and regretful keeping you from living your authentic purpose.
Whether you’re planning to run a marathon, run from bulls or run just because you can, the above examples can help you become aware of what you may be running away from.
And, to assist you on your journey, I invite you to get my FREE special report, Building Strong Boundaries to Create Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life.
Gladys Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other busy overwhelmed women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
Loosen Your Grip on Time
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Time is a precious commodity just like gold or diamonds. But, we don’t always value our time the same as we do for something we can reach out and touch. We say, we waste time, kill time, make time and hold onto time. And, we think time flies as fast as a 747. We never seem to have enough of it or we have too much.
Yet, we are all given the same gift of 24 of hours or 1440 minutes in a 24-hour period.
So, how are you using this valuable gift?
I started to think about how I spend my time recently when one of my subscribers said, “I have to loosen my grip on my time”. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that so I asked.
This is part of the answer she gave me:
“We must loosen our grip on our time and minds by letting go of what no longer serves us”…
The more I thought about what she said, the more I realized how much time I spend playing my favorite game, Chuzzle or flitting from website to website when I could be doing something much more productive.
Here are some ideas to loosen your grip on time:
- Re-evaluate your priorities – Are you focusing on how much you have to do with little time to complete your tasks? Do you want to paint the bathroom, rearrange the cupboards or spend quality time with your family? Only you can decide what’s most important to you and how much you can accomplish within a given time frame. Set realistic priorities on your time and energy to avoid overwhelm.
- Eliminate unnecessary interruptions – Chit chat is a great way to unwind and catch up with friends. But if you’re spending hours on the phone, perhaps you could reduce the time you talk on the phone or simply turn off the ringer so you can accomplish one of the goals you’ve set for yourself.
- Perform a mind cleanse – Whenever you’re feeling like you’re running out of time, stop for a few minutes to clear the cobwebs clinging to your brain. It my sound counterproductive, but taking a few minutes to unwind will give you the energy boost you need to continue the tasks at hand.
Maybe you don’t play games, surf the web endlessly or spend your time talking on the phone, but I’ll bet you can easily think of some ways you can use your 1440 minutes doing something more productive and rewarding.
How do you loosen your grip on time? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Gladys M. Anderson - Life Coach, Therapist, Author
Gladys Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.
