Archives for October 2010

Bad News is a Bummer

Bad news is a bummer. It matters little if the news is life changing or a disappointing outcome; it can easily be a shock or a setback. Last week, my day started out as usual until I got a phone call from a relative with some pretty disturbing news that changed my whole outlook. When things like that happen, do you resort to hand wringing, crying, questioning "why", what if", and "if only”? I must admit, for a short while I was stuck in worry mode. After taking some really deep breaths to get centered, I focused on what I could realistically do about the situation. This is what I came up with to bounce back from worry: Be Realistic - Is there anything you can do to realistically change the situation? If you can change the … [Read more...]

When Good Enough is Enough

The concept of good enough comes from the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, John Bowlby's theory about "good enough parenting".  The premise is that children can and do thrive with parental substitutes (relatives, adoptive parents, etc) and that this mothering is good enough even when the child was deprived of a connection with his birth mother. As I thought about this theory, I couldn't help but wonder how we strive for perfection and don't accept when good enough is enough. Most of us have been programmed for perfection. We are taught early to avoid what is considered failure at all cost. In our schools, we learn a to strive for an 'A" or a perfect score and anything less is considered a failure. What about those students who get a … [Read more...]

Can Money Buy Happiness?

I once had a cute little refrigerator magnet that said, “money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a week in the Bahamas”. Your level of happiness is never determined by your purchasing power.  Of course, having access to enough money to be comfortable is preferable to living in poverty but it does not insure your happiness. The Boston Globe ran an interesting article some time ago drawing from research into that time worn question: Can money buy happiness?  The study found that "there's a certain point beyond  which people have enough to comfortably feed, clothe, and house themselves, having more money - even a lot more money - makes them only a little bit happier". These days money is a hot topic  – how much you have, will you … [Read more...]

How to Spark Your Passion

Passion is a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything or someone, (i.e., a passion for music or a love interest), as defined by Dictionary.com. Your passion is developed from a combination of what interests you and the things that stimulate and genuinely excite you. The level of fulfillment and energy you have is directly correlated to the intensity you feel about what you are passionate about. Maybe, you love decorating, gardening or cooking and lose track of time when you’re engaged in an activity you truly love and enjoy doing. Some children seem to have an uncanny ability to hone in to their passion early on and pursue it throughout adulthood.  I think my grandson first recognized his passion for drums … [Read more...]

Choose Your Words Carefully – Use Empowering Words

Choose your words carefully and make your wishes known by using empowering words such as I choose to/not to or I will/won't.  Disempowering words like "I/you can't, "I/you have to", and "I/you should", send the message that you easily give away your power or you’re attempting to disempower someone else with misguided expectations. For example, every time I find myself saying  “I should”, I ask myself am I responding to my wishes or someone else's.  This is the formula I use: Is it good for me? Is it good for them? Do I want to do it If it's not something you really want to do or you're considering doing it because you want to please or you're looking to get validation or acceptance, then you are responding to an unspoken … [Read more...]

Self-Care Can Sneak Its Way Into Your Daily Routine

 Self-care can sneak its way into your daily routine even when you’re so exhausted you hardly have enough energy to crawl out of bed. But, if you don’t make space daily for self-care you end up often feeling irritable, anxious, depressed or bored.  And all of that negative energy further depletes you and pushes self-care even farther into the background. According to Dr. Christiane Northrup, a women’s health expert, the key to self-care is knowing in your heart that the best way you can care for others is by caring for yourself.  It’s not selfish or to take care of yourself first.  By doing so, you are assured that you have enough energy to take care of the other people in your life. Here are some easy ways you can let self care … [Read more...]

Who Else Wants to End 2010 With a Bang?

Summer has hardly settled into Autumn and already  I’m starting to see Holiday advertisements long before I’m ready to even think about shopping, cooking, entertaining and decorating.  Maybe it’s just me, but everything seems rushed and the weeks just seem to fly by. I still have a lot to accomplish before year end and maybe you do too.  And no matter how much  you plan and organize, you are still adding to your to-do-list. I don’t know about you but with a little over than 3 months left in 2010, I have many miles to go before I sleep! So, who else wants to end 2010 with a bang? I sure do. And, here are some tips to give you a head start to end 2010 with a bang: Review your goals - Review the things you want to … [Read more...]