Archives for February 2010

The Secret to Making Changes in Your Life

Bill O'Hanlon, a well-known family therapist, says in his book, "Do One Thing Different" to focus on the solution rather than the problem. I couldn't agree more.  When all of your attention is given to the problem at hand, you end up with very little energy to apply to a solution. Long before I read The Secret,  I learned from Bill O'Hanlon that changing my thoughts and what I  paid attention to is a way for me to bring about a desired change. In my practice, I come across people everyday who say they want change but are unwilling to challenge faulty beliefs about themselves, the situation or do something different. It's much more helpful to look at the things that are going well and exceptions rather than dwelling on the … [Read more...]

In Pursuit of Happiness

  Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony - Gandhi Most people expend a great amount of time looking for happiness in all the wrong places . They chase dreams rather than live dreams. Their lives are stimulated only by addictions, religions, and even other people in a futile attempt to fill the void with purpose and meaning. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within. Happiness is a state of mind based on how worthy you feel. How you feel about yourself is a direct result of the accumulated experiences you have had, particular growing up.  For instance, if you grew up being made to feel worthy, valued, loved, protected and respected, most likely you feel … [Read more...]

TIP: How to Build a Strong Emotional Boundary

How does your outer world reflect your inner world? Are you constantly misplacing your keys, spending time looking for things, never having enough time, surrounded by chaos and negativity? When you outer world is disorganized, so is your inner world and it reflects a lack of focus and clarity. TIP: Change the way you think about things.  Replace negative, limiting, self-sabotaging thoughts with positive thoughts and affirmations.  Immediately turn each negative or limiting thought into a positive statement before it has time to infiltrate your subconscious. If you have enjoyed this tip, please submit your comments below and click the share button to share it with your … [Read more...]

TIP: How to Create a Strong Financial Boundary

A major stress for many people in these challenging economic times is money.  How do you view money?  Do you have an easy come easy go attitude, are you a thrifty spender or are you burdened with debt? Whatever your view of money is, the following tip may be helpful to get or keep your finances in order. TIP: Spending more than one earns is a recipe for accumulating massive debt.  Create a budget and stick to it.  Track your spending for a month so that you know where your money is going.  You may be surprised at how much you spend on coffee, snacks and non-essentials. If you are in the habit of saving a portion of your income, congratulations and keep up the good work. Eliminate credit cards - Create a short and long term plan to … [Read more...]

TIP: How to Simplify and Systematize Your Space Boundary

TIP:  De-clutter your surroundings by getting rid of clogged files, clothes you no longer can wear, old costume jewelry, and other things that you no longer find useful, enjoyable or serve to enhance your life. Create a system for everything; organize files and folders – You can create folders and rules in your e-mail so that you can easily find key contacts and their emails. Donate clothes to a worthwhile charity. Getting rid of clutter creates space to receive more of what you really want in your life. About the Author: Gladys M. Anderson is a certified group coach, personal life coach and a licensed marriage & family therapist.  Gladys helps nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers establish boundaries,  … [Read more...]

How Adding Chocolate Making to Your Busy Schedule Leads to Stress

Normally I don't read the Martha Steward column because she gives far more complicated instructions than I have the time or desire to undertake. Today was an exception, since anything with the word chocolate in it immediately catches my attention. The title, Chocolate Covered Strawberries, was clearly calling my name. I looked at the title and immediately had a vision of special "me" time, curled up in front of a fire, jazz playing softly in the background, browsing through my newest magazine and delighting in mouth watering chocolate covered strawberries. As I read the instructions, I couldn't help but think that Martha was now beginning to write recipes for the average, busy, chaos-filled life of the women of America like me.  So … [Read more...]

5 Essential Boundary Making Tips

How are you allowing others to set limits on your time and resources? Are you still taking on more and more tasks when your plate is already running over? To keep from rocking the boat, what things are you doing that you would rather not?  Taking your precious time to run an errand for someone just because they asked is not a way to show you have strong boundaries around YOUR time. How jam packed is your schedule with the many things you "have to" do for your friends and family that don't leave  time for YOU?  There are very few things you "have" to do.  Replace "I have to" with "I choose to"...You always have the choice to determine how you spend your time, energy and resources. What stories do you tell yourself supporting the … [Read more...]

What I learned About Boundaries From Larry, the Cable Guy

  Yesterday evening I picked up my phone poised to dial out and there was dead silence…no dial tone, no static…nothing… My first thought was I had inadvertently disconnected one of the many tangled cords underneath my desk. If you’ve ever had to crawl around into the abyss under your desk on your hands and knees, you know this is no small feat. With flashlight in hand, I checked each of the sundry connections making sure they were all housed in their respective homes.  From my non-techy vantage point, everything looked to be in order. Time to place a call to the provider of my phone service, which is also my cable company. With cell phone in had, I make the call.  Little did I know this was just the beginning of my saga … [Read more...]