Archives for November 2009

Fall into Action before 2009 Ends

With the crisp mornings and even cooler evenings here in New England, it seems we are fast approaching the end of another year. The leaves have changed colors. The sky has taken on its winter hue. The frenzy of the holidays are fast approaching with just a few more weeks until the beginning of a new year! Where did the time go? If you're anything like me, you wonder how summer could have come and gone so quickly. Speaking of how quickly things change…how much headway have you made toward accomplishing the changes you started out with at the beginning of  2009? What promises did you make to yourself this year? How are you doing with your exercise routine? Where are you in finally getting rid of that clutter? What ideas … [Read more...]

Stop the People-Pleasing Syndrome Dead in its Tracks

Pleasing others is not necessarily a bad thing. Considering the needs of others, graciousness and the willingness to help others are admirable traits. For many people, the desire to please becomes a reliance on others for approval and acceptance, even when it restricts their own happiness and health. Constantly trying to gain acceptance, validation and approval is a detriment to relations, health and sabotages boundary making. "As a people-pleaser, you feel controlled by your need to please others and addicted to their approval. At the same time, you feel out of control over the pressures and demands on your life that these needs have created” writes Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D., in The Disease to Please. Consider the following … [Read more...]

Top 3 Things You Can Do To Take Control of Your Life

There is so much in life we have little or no control over. You can't control the weather or the sun rising or setting but the good news is there are many other things that you absolutely CAN control. Here are some of them: 1) Let Go of Expectations Let go of the notion that you can change another person, their actions or non-actions. Your moral compass may not be the same as someone else's. When you let go of the expectations you have of others, you can have more control of your own life. It opens up your mind to focus on your own life and more time to focus on what truly matters to YOU. When you let go of the expectations you have of others, you will no longer allow anyone to yank your chain causing knee-jerk reaction fraught with … [Read more...]

Appreciate Yourself First and Watch Your Confidence Soar

Women have many roles and responsibilities in their lives. You are a mother, daughter, friend, leader, co-worker, wife, partner, volunteer, financial expert, homemaker, caregiver and more – all at the same time. All of these responsibilities and multitasking contributes to feeling overwhelmed. That’s why it is critical for women to take time the time to value themselves and all the things they do. Taking some time every day to value what you do helps you to do a better job in all the other areas of your life. It also makes you feel good about yourself! There are many different ways you could value yourself. One of the ways to do this is to build your self-confidence. Confidence is the belief you have in your ability to reach your goals. … [Read more...]

In Perfect Alignment

Have you ever wondered if you make the right choices, live your life in harmony with what you know to be true? One of the things that I absolutely know for sure is that I have the right to make choices for my life, express my desires and am in total control of how I speak, act and respond to circumstances, other people and situations. I need only to respond in alignment with my own truth. I offer you the following things that you must embrace if you are to live joyfully and in alignment with your own unique truth: 1) Know that you are in control of your thoughts, actions, words and responses. When your response is in harmony with your words actions and thoughts, you are empowered and joyful. 2) You can confidently state … [Read more...]

Relax, Rejuvenate and Rest

Talk about an "aha" moment...I have had several the past couple of weeks as I lay coughing, sneezing and feeling like walked on dirt from some all-encompassing "bug". There's nothing quite as enlightening as not being able to do anything but lie still and take time for reflection. How often have I said, "take time for yourself", "take care of yourself first", etc. (you've heard it from me many times). Yet, there I was completely depleted mainly because I neglected to take care of the most important person - me. We often ignore all the warning signs - exhaustion, disturbed sleep patterns, lack of energy - while feeling like we're on a fast moving treadmill at top speed. Don't ignore these warning signs. This is exactly the time to … [Read more...]

It’s True: You Can Get Rid of the Clutter Monster

Do you know that a quarter of homeowners with two-car garages use them exclusively for storage and park in the driveway? How do we become such hostages to the jumble of odds and ends that once gave us pleasure and fond memories and now have outlived its usefulness? This week, I finally took on the gigantic task of clearing the clutter from my basement storage area and the garage! Whew! How many times had I said, "we really need to clear out some stuff of this stuff." It was merely a passing comment…didn't happen! So to solve the problem, I tried my best to ignore the growing mound of useless odds and ends that had taken over my space. I finally could tolerate it no longer. So amongst the empty soda cans, the unused boxes of … [Read more...]

What Are You Tolerating Today That Could Free You to Live Authentically?

In my work, I talk to many women who are convinced that their lot in life has been cast. Whatever circumstance they find themselves in, they have deluded themselves into believing that the situation can’t change for them and struggle to make sense of the choices they have made. One woman in an intolerable relationship felt that she had made a commitment and no matter what, she would “stick it out”. Another woman I know decided long ago that her life was dictated by the circumstances of her upbringing and continued to relinquish her power to her family. Commitment and a sense of responsibility is a wonderful attribute, however, when loyalty binds you to intolerable situations, it’s time to refocus. I once heard someone say, “people … [Read more...]

Enjoying the Journey

I don't buy lottery tickets but if I did, I would be among the many who invest in the fallacy that they will become the next millionaire. A lot of women are living their lives waiting to hit the illusive jackpot. And for a lot of us, the jackpot is usually - when I get settled" (whatever that means), "after I pay off some debt", "as soon as I can find time", "when the last child is off to college" and other far-off reward thinking. Why not enjoy as much of the journey as possible now and not put off joy today for that magical reward when you arrive at some ill conceived destination? What opportunities have you missed spending the better part of your lives waiting...and missing out on some delicious opportunities to savor the moment. As … [Read more...]

Slow Down – Don’t Dance So Fast

Here's a great poem from the book The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris that I would like to share with you. Slow Dance Have you ever watch kids On a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight? Or gazed at the sun into the fading light? You better slow down. Don’t dance so fast. Time is short. The music won’t last. Do you run through each day On the fly? When you ask: How are you ? Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed With the next hundred chores Running through your head? You’d better slow down. Don’t dance so fast. Time is short. The music won’t last. Ever told your child, We’ll do it tomorrow? And in … [Read more...]